I Thought I Was Safe in meh...

The past few days have been a mess. I’m on the upside, in a way, but on a downside too

Wednesday around 5:30a:

I was asleep on the couch. I woke up. Putzed around in my phone for a second. Stood up to go upstairs to pee and felt my life leave me just about. I struggled up the stairs, but made it to the bathroom. I almost fell in the tub. I cleaned up, but was so out of breath, I had no idea what was happening to me. I laid on the floor. I laid on the bed. My crappy soon to be ex-boyfriend was no help, was not compassionate. Just nothing. He brought me water and callously told me to either call a doctor or go to the hospital.

I fought to put clothes on. I fought to call an ambulance.

The medics showed up. I had my son unlock the front door so they could just come in. Every exertion of energy made my breath leave me. I could not breathe. They helped me stand and pull my pants up. They helped me with my coat. They got me on the stretcher and away we went.

They didn’t take me to my preferred hospital. For the most part, this place took care of me.

Long and short of it, I had/have a pulmonary embolism. This caused my shortness of breath, coupled with low blood pressure, and a side order of COVID. I can’t remember if they told me I had COVID before or after they swabbed me. I remember the nose swab though. Don’t like that. I had to undergo a procedure for the blood clots, only to be told I don’t have them, then told they were not as serious as it seemed to have been. That is still a mystery. I have an appointment on the 23rd for this heart doctor. I’m supposed to take blood thinners, but insurance is not allowing me to get it.

My family and friends have been loving on me something extra. Well family meaning my siblings and mommies and such. Had friends putting people on the prayer warrior team, bombarding heaven to heal me. I appreciate all that. I know God is a healer. I know God is faithful even when I fail miserably. As I was sweating and feeling like I was dying on the floor, I prayed that God get me through this. That my life wasn’t over and I still had life to live for Him. And I do.

I wanted to stay in the hospital because that keeps me from dealing with my reality.

Soon as I get home, this morning, daughter calls to get a ride home from work. I have to isolate for 10 days. My soon to be ex has had my car since I’ve been in the hospital. Just out casino hopping. Didn’t pick me up from the hospital. Hasn’t been back. Waiting until he gets back to this side of town before I roll up on him with my family. Seriously. This is over.

I wanted to stay in the hospital for the vacation.

As for COVID, I was slacking and not as regimented as I was when I first started out, but i rarely venture out so I didn’t think i would catch it. I don’t have a fever, unless you consider 98.1 a fever. I usually clock in at 97.5. Go figure.

So I’ve been holed up in my room all day. Avoiding who I don’t want to talk to, texting who I feel like it. I still have a $50 bill in my wallet, so there is that. Going to get some more water and go back to sleep. Nothing else to do just now so this is it.

I’m well. I’m good except for sniffles and nose tickles. Peace and blessing to you all.

Kindest regards,
Sister