C is For... in These Foolish Things

Colonoscopy Prep. Oh lord, it started off fine, but then after I was finished with my prep I realized that I clearly hadn’t gotten everything out, so to speak, so I ran to the CVS last night before they closed to talk to the pharmacist about what I could do to get more out. Both he and the Google machine recommended magnesium citrate, which worked quite well, but I still wasn’t clear and I wasn’t going anymore by midnight. I decided to try to get some sleep and woke a couple hours later having to go…but it still wasn’t clear either. Again I Googled. Again out to the 24-hour pharmacy at 3:15am to see if getting an enema would do the trick. The pharmacist said that it wouldn’t necessarily do the trick. So back home I went and drank a little more magnesium citrate and by the time I got to the surgery center at 7:30am, I was as clear as I was going to be. I actually showed the nurse a photo and she said it was fine. Ugh. If only showing photos of my toilet bowl was the worst thing to happen today.

Colonoscopy. So yeah. I got there fine and was checked in fine and went through all the prep fine and got all set up and ready to go. The anesthesiologist came in and I told her about my carotid and aneurysm and all of that good stuff and she took extra good care of me. Rolled me into the surgery room with all of the TVs and cameras and such and the surgeon came in and told me he’d take care of me (yes, THAT doc who looked up my bootie a couple of weeks ago) and all of a sudden I was waking up…

The Big C. I can’t write it out just yet because it’s just sinking in. But after I woke up, the nurse helped me get myself together and get dressed and sat me in an office and told me the surgeon would be with me soon to talk about the procedure. He showed up a few minutes later with grave news: I have it. C is for…

Best Bud picked me up from the surgery center and I blurted it out as soon as I got in her car. I couldn’t help myself. I didn’t know what to say and my head was still spinning and it hasn’t stopped yet.

I don’t know much more, but I will in the coming days. I’m scheduled for surgery on February 15th. This truly feels like a dream, but not the kind of dream that I dreamed of.

GS