It's All Done in Meeting Mr. Jesus Christ

Went for my final doctor appointment yesterday morning until May 1st. The big part was getting the uterine biopsy completed, unpleasant and painful, it has had me off kilter all day, but today I feel basically fine.

Doc and I reviewed all the test results the G.I. doctor has been doing. We came to the conclusion the guy is largely full of himself. Things he told me over the phone he said are seriously wrong with me aren't even near the slightly off range in lab results. At my request and agreement with my primary, all my tests and records are being forwarded to the liver transplant specialist at Henry Ford Hospital in Detroit. I've dealt with her in the past when Blue was being considered for transplant, I trust her and like how she works with patients.

What did bother my primary doctor enough to make that referral to Detroit, is the G.I. doctor seems to be needlessly testing for everything without cause, and though she didn't want to worry me G.I. doctor failed to tell me the test results for Alpa Feto are high in conjunction with corresponding tests being off. I'm betting that isn't good news, hoping of course I am wrong. There are about 20 different tests showing levels that are high/low but were only two months ago not showing any maladjustment at all. Clearly a second opinion is needed.

How quickly things can change. Or, as today I prefer to say, how quickly someone managed to mistake my medical records with someone who is sick. I'm choosing denial today. I deserve one day of it, face it, I can't stay in it forever. I'm overwhelmed and feel afraid and alone. I know all this is in God's hands, I KNOW THAT. But, truth is I am feeling sorry for myself and don't see anything wrong with taking a day to do so. I know I won't stay like this long, I can't. I'm a fighter, a prayer warrior, a woman of immense faith who will do what is right. Forever I pick myself up and do what must be done. Just. not. today.

For the next few hours when it crosses my mind I am going to be treated for hepatitis, might have liver, ovarian or uterine cancer I'm gonna wallow in my perceived misery and I WILL yelp every time this stupid kidney stone stabs my back and brings me to tears.

OUT!