shatter me in 2013-2014

Lzzy Hale + Lindsey Stirling = <3 <3 <3 repeat one for days.

This is clearly A Week. It is a comedy of errors. If this were a book or a movie, it would be deemed implausible.

Monday: My work computer's processor fan dies as I boot it up. I get the initial stuff done and put in an IT work order just as it starts to overheat. IT whisks it away. When my boss calls about a replacement computer, he is told, "if she still doesn't have one by Wednesday, we'll think about a temporary unit." Fortunately, one of our student workers was out that day, so I used a student computer all day.

Tuesday: Brought my laptop to work. Four people I know got job offers. FOUR. FOOOUUURRR. I tried to apply for another three jobs, but something happened with every single one. One website decided I didn't have a valid email address even as it sent me welcome material. Two just wouldn't load. I flailed and flailed and actually got the sense that God was laughing at me. I also investigated around the Internet, and found that the law firm I'm hoping for has a casual dress code! Also, that the pay I should be requesting is like... $45k/year, which is a good $5k over my guess. Oh man, $45k would be unfathomably awesome. I could actually pay off some debts and bills. Crazy.

I tried to actually work, but I had to jump to another computer to print anything, and actually couldn't do a check request because IT has removed Adobe from our office computers and I needed to resize a PDF. We call them IT Nazis. This is not quite an exaggeration, given the sexist bullshit they've said to me and their declarations that I/my office doesn't 'need' certain software, regardless of our actual work. "We work with PDFs. We manage the floor plans. Our maintenance software, THE REASON OF OUR EXISTENCE, requires PDF conversion." "Oh, well, tough cookies. We don't think that's valid so we gave your license to someone else." We hates them. We do, Smeagol, we do. Also, please note that per our IT manager, girls are unequivocally terrible at soccer. Wink.

IT rant aside, when I got home and wanted to make spaghetti, I realized that the ground beef I thought I had... I didn't actually have. I didn't have the veggies I thought I had, either. I gave up and ate toast and cookies.

Wednesday: IT called the student dispatch line and my boss, saying that if I wanted to go pick the guy up, take him to another building to make a service call, and then bring him to my building, I could have my computer back. I had class soon, so one of our lovely, selfless students went to play chauffeur. When I went to class, my bus broke down. It shuddered terribly on every gear change and the warning lights on the dash were so bright I could see them from halfway down the bus. The driver got on the radio. Um, the check transmission light is flashing... We were dumped at the next stop while the bus went straight back to home base. The next bus I was on got stuck in construction traffic and I was a few minutes late for class. While in class, the mildly sore throat continued to build into a phlegmy mess and a general sense of weary malaise descended.

As the day's gone on, the general sense of illness has continued. My throat mildly ached and there was a brick of congestion in my skull by time I got home. I had to stop by Walmart for ground beef (and a two-liter of Dew to take a bunch of allergy pills with) and by the time I got home, took Sheppy out, cleaned my ears, etc, I was lying in bed on the phone with Aaron, brain wired but body feeling like a pancake. At least coming down with whatever this is explains my total lack of anything yesterday. I took a fitful nap and a full dose of Sudafed to try and rest my head, but woke up with a vise firmly in place. Cereal, Mountain Dew, and three Advil later I feel painless, but still incredibly stuffy. I took a hot shower because I was gross, and that was wonderful until the hot water started going out. At least I haven't thrown up. I'd eat more, but I was pretty nauseous earlier with that headache. I can't decide if I'm migraine aura-ing or not and until I feel clear, I'm kind of reluctant to eat. (Drink all the healing caffeine, on the other hand, yais. Seriously, caffeine constricts blood vessels and can help reduce painful inflammation--that's why it's in Midol!)

But with the general congested cold-head, I haven't done a damn thing about job applying. Which might be the point. I looked listlessly at the new Charleston job postings today on LinkedIn and had such a strong sense of you can't do it. Let God do it. Works for me. Especially when I'm too blah to care.

The race is early Saturday morning. My plan for this week was a few tune-up workouts: a run (which I got in Sunday), a strength workout, and then both with a few days before Saturday to rest up. And a lot of spaghetti throughout the week. I have done... pretty much none of that. I have little appetite and a lot of weariness and sinus congestion. I am disappointed, because with a couple good tune-ups I had potential to be competitive in this race. It's a smaller one and last year's times were challenge-able (30+ minutes). My last race this spring is the Warrior Dash and I'll be happy to be in the top 25-30% of that one, haha. However, it is nice to know that I'm in good enough shape to miss the workouts and still not suck. Maybe the rest principle will kick in (although I didn't do much last week either, due to the abysmal wintry weather) and I'll fly on Saturday. Who freaking knows. I'll carb load tomorrow and Friday and hope for the best. The single most influential part of my run training is how many good carbs I've taken in, not necessarily rest vs training hours/miles. Fingers crossed. I might burn some sick leave tomorrow to try to drug/sleep this off.

Speaking out of pure vanity, I'm also annoyed because at my last measurement my waist was 30 inches. !!!!! SO CLOSE. I have since bloated up (ovulation). Running and working and my usual training diet would help that, but if I'm busy trying to cater to my allergies and immune system... not so much. Thwarted. As long as the 30" measurement wasn't a fluke. I've been hovering at 30.5 for almost a year. These vanity pounds are a bitch to move. (And now, the smaller I can get my waist, the better I'll fit into my wedding dress. Snort.)

I leave you with my shower adventure.

When I was standing at the mirror naked and combing my hair, I noticed the roach (the one who had ducked under my fridge a few days ago) on the ceiling in the corner. That pervy bastard. So I finished combing my hair, tied it back, moved Lena's food, and got a high heel out of the closet. I stepped up on the counter (stepped, thank you, not climbed) and knocked him off the ceiling. I then chased him around the floor and smashed him with the shoe. When he quit moving, I got the dust pan and brush and swept him up. And the bastard tried to run! So I hit him with the brush hard enough to break off the handle (oops), reverted back to shoe, and didn't stop until he was in several pieces. Then I swept him up with the broken brush, threw him away, and resumed doing my hair.

Moral of story: if you spy on me naked, I WILL CRUSH YOU INTO PIECES WITH A HIGH HEEL.