Trying to stabilize in General musings

Okay, so.. trying to come to grips with things. Trying to be fair..F did not lie to me, did not cheat on me... we gave it a shot - which was probably the first time, really for him, all the other times we were just ...fuck buddies as his sister said. And..he loves me but doesn't LOVE me...sooo...I am trying to absorb that. And I am doing a lot of thinking about hubby...who I have put through so much and still just waits patiently, trying to make things better for me... Who DOES LOVE me.. and instead of "running away" or threatening to divorce him, I'm thinking we should try...oh, maybe some sex councelling or something like that, because aside from that ( which is a big problem) we get along so much better and are so much more compatible than I have been with F in years, because F has not matured, really at all since our twenties. I texted him earlier while he was at the cemetery...'I am sorry I am not with you today...you and your mom are in my thoughts...' He texted me two pictures - both sides of his parents' headstone, and wrote, "Thank you" I said, 'you are welcome :'( I feel terrible about not being there for you and give my best to your sister too'. He wrote, "its ok. I am sorry" I said, 'you can't be sorry for how you do or don't feel.. I just am not sure you gave it enough time...3 mths..and how much time actually spent together..but that's just an opinion.. And that does not mean I am asking to try again...but I do think we may be able to stay friends. He said, "ok. having lunch now"