January 8, 2021 in In My World

I woke up at 4:45 after not falling asleep until, like, 1:30 something. The ride to work wasn’t all that bad. I hung out a little while and then started finishing the entry from the 5th that I hadn’t finished yet, and then I finished the one from the 6th. I worked on the one from yesterday, too, but I ended up finishing that on most of that on my break and the rest just before starting this one.

Work wasn’t bad today but I’m really frustrated and upset about a few things pertaining to it. Here’s the message I sent to Protector: “I’m just really fucking frustrated because I had to re-do a training that I KNOW I already did and I KNOW only the new hires had to do it. And I have to get another TB test done…and like. I don’t know if this is a “cant come back to work until it’s done” situation or what because they are shit at any kind of communication. Not only that but I was pretty sure it was every, like, 4 years for another TB test but apparently not. I also have a CPR certification class coming up but I knew about that already.
I’m just very angry that they’re just now bringing this shit up on friday halfway through the work day. Like. I could have had this shit done tuesday or thursday if they didn’t wait so long to tell me.
It’s all to “update my file” which would be fine but like. I got pulled out of the class I was in to do a training. That’s fucking stupid. I had the kid and bottle in hand and had to go sit in the lobby for however long. Everything is super loud and irritating and bleh.” It just feels like I’m being punished for not working, even though I know that’s not actually how it is. I asked multiple times if there were any trainings I needed to do and they consistently said no. So Idk what the fuck but I’m frustrated.
I have ADHD. Trying to focus in a lobby when I can hear 3 to 5 classrooms all that the same time, plus the phone ringing, plus people talking, plus the echo in the hallway with multiple people moving around, plus all the other things going on. And if that wasn’t enough, the screen was fucking with my vision in the first place because I couldn’t change the brightness or anything. It was just a lot

AND FUCKING THEN. Director gave me a plate for lunch that had some apples, strawberries and this rice stuff on it. The rice had ground beef and I think broccoli in it so I didn’t think anything of it but I took a bite and something felt off so I asked my boss what was in it....Taco seasoning was one of the things. I’m allergic to cumin (it makes me VERY sick, not like, throat swell, epi-pen type) and I thought everyone knew that but I guess they forgot. I’m really glad I realized something was wrong because I really wouldn’t have enjoyed being food poisoning sick all weekend. These people are supposed to be aware of all food allergies in the building, and I thought they were. I get it, though, I was gone for a long time.

Wow, I’ve been doing a lot of bitching lately. Oops. Chalk that up to stress.

Anyway. The babies were good today, one left early and then my co-teacher left an hour early instead of taking a break so I was alone with the last 3 for a while. Then I just had two. I watched the older one (R) figure out how to put together and take apart these little toys and I managed to get a pretty good video of it. (F) was pretty content to drool all over me and play with the rainbow keys.

I took some time after work to remake my “Better” playlist on spotify and I found a bunch more songs that fit that aren’t on my youtube playlist, so that’s nice. Turns out searching “Don’t kill yourself” and “It’s gonna get better” playlists on spotify is a good way to find the right types of songs for that playlist. heh.

Protector came and picked me up at 6:40. We talked about work and various other things on the way home. I kept working on my playlist and screenshot a few songs that I want to look up. I honestly don’t even remember half our conversations apart from work but all in all it was a good ride. I had to call MW on the way home because the breaks started grinding again. While I was on the phone with him we stopped so I could feed the pigeons. I had to call him again once I got home because as Protector was backing up to park, the pressure went out on his breaks. They’re still working somewhat but the car is out of commission until MW can come fix it. He said he’d come by sometime tomorrow to work on it.

I talked to him on the phone for a little while after I got home and I ate dinner. He said he was going to get some stuff done and call me back in a little while but he didn’t end up calling me back because he was in and out of a nap. I ended up rolling into a ball in the chair and napping for about 2 hours unexpectedly. I gotta say, though, I really needed it. I ate some cereal, played some merge magic, and came downstairs. Protector and I gave Pork and Beans their wormer and I mixed Macaroni and Cheese’s into their food and seperated them to eat. No biggie. I need to clean all the cages tomorrow or Sunday but right now I’m not going to worry about that.

I started working on the entry from yesterday that I needed to finish while I was watching “What A Girl Wants”. Once I was done with that, I started this one. That said, I just put on CSI to finish this up to. Protector keeps scooching closer and trying to knock my laptop off my lap in his sleep. It’s kinda adorable. He was grumbling at me a little while ago, too. Now he is scooted over as far as he can be, half curled up in a ball around me and he keeps moving closer. I’m gonna finish this up really quick and then curl back up with him. He’s too damned cute.

Rayne, Smudge, Pork and Beans are all asleep on the bed right now, too.

I’m am grateful for:

1.) Protector for so many things today
2.) MW for helping calm my anxiety and for agreeing to fix Protector’s car
3.) Getting to spend quality time with the babies, again
4.) Protector always holding on to me in his sleep
5.) Rolled up in a ball chair naps. Especially when they make me feel smol
6.) Having time to write today
7.) Catching up on my entries…finally.
8.) Having time to work on my spotify playlist and finding more songs that fit
9.) Yoo-hoo drinks. They’re the bomb. Bang too, for caffeine and survival purposes
10.) A comfy bed filled with cats and Kitty.

Good/Happy/Positive/Surprising things that happened today:

1.) Saying “comere” to Protector last night and having him actually roll over and put his arms around me.
2.) (F) smiling and giggling at me tons today.
3.) The amusing fact that (F) won’t eat for Boss or Director and won’t smile for them either
4.) Protector inching closer and closer for the entire time I’ve been writing this
5.) (R) figuring out how to break apart those toys and put them together again. “Uh-oh!” “Thank you!”
6.) MW helping calm my anxiety just by talking to me. Mostly about disturbing memes and things, but still.
7.) Surviving my first week back to work mostly unscathed
8.) Getting to be a pet-parent to so many wonderful creatures and being a foster mom to the Barbecrew.
9.) Merge magic. I low-key hate it because of all the progress I lost on merge dragons but it’s still a cute and fun game
10.) Just having a fairly good day in general.

Goals I had for today:
-Survive day 3 of work
-Write an entry
-Ask MW about the car part
-Start a when we watched what movie list

Things I accomplished today:
-Survived day 3 of work
-Finished all my back-dated entries
-Called MW about the car
-Fed the pigeons
-Worked on my spotify playlist

Goals for tomorrow:
-Finish at least 3 things on the master to-do list
-Work on the other to-do list
-Make the when we watched what movie list
-Start setting up my 2021 journal
-Have MW work on Protector’s car
-Start trying to work on better routines
-Make grocery shopping list
-Shower

Goodnight <3

-Also my 2021 journal came in the mail today!!!!!!! Like 18 days early. Now I’m just waiting on the sticker for it! If I can get ProseBox to cooperate I’ll upload pics
-It’s 3:15 and these entries take way longer to write than I consider when I start them @_@

Last updated January 09, 2021