January 6, 2021 in In My World

I barely slept, again. I honestly think the stress is getting to me. I really hope I can fix my sleep schedule before it becomes a major issue. I was in I1 again today. It wasn’t bad at all, really. We had all 5 babies. I was singing that “badayadayada” Song at one of the kids but using their name and my coworker recognized it. I really wasn’t expecting that! I had a birthday cake flavored bang but it was, like, sharp and gross. I drank it anyway. The same baby ended up spitting up green beans on me literally 20 seconds before another coworker came to relieve me. I ended up changing into my Hollywood Undead shirt and black and red skull bandana (mask) and waiting for Protector to come get me. He was about 15 minutes late. Also my bosses and a coworker were hiding from a parent trying to bring their kid back in at 3 something. They were all acting seriously childish and stupid. Like. Either just tell the parent no, or go take the kid, It’s not that fucking hard. We stopped at the end on the way home and I got cards. We stopped at walmart and Protector got me a coloring book.

It wasn’t until after I got into the car that I found out what was going on in the country today. We aren’t allowed to have our phones on us so I had no idea. I genuinely don’t have the mental energy to write about this right now but I highly doubt anyone is going to forget any time soon unless something worse happens. The capital building got stormed today. People are saying it was at the president’s orders. Everything is fucking crazy and I’m genuinely worried about what the die-hard Trumpers are going to do now that they feel emboldened and “cheated”. Time will tell, I suppose. I’m honestly terrified. I talked to my brother for a little bit about it and he feels the same. What the hell is going on, man?

I’m am grateful for:

1.) Being in the baby room again
2.) Protector for taking me to and from work
3.) Hank Green’s tiktok about whether or not any of this could result in a civil war, it’s very comforting
4.) MW for cuddle conversations
5.) My brother for being there and also making me feel valid about things
6.) The sun came up, the sun went down, another day of life.
7.) The babies I get to work with, even when they spit up on me sometimes
8.) Having F sleep in my lap for almost half an hour
9.) Warm blankets, warm snuggles, and heavy dragons
10.) The people who believe in a better world and will help rebuild it after all this shit has settled.

Good/Happy/Positive/Surprising things that happened today:

1.) Buenas noches, Mi cariño “Goodnight, My Darling”
2.) Having F sleep on my lap for almost half an hour. I could have put him in his crib but that moment was too important to me
3.) Protector always holding me in his sleep
4.) Co-worker (A) recognizing what I was singing to F
5.) Rocking babies to sleep. Seriously. I know what I was meant to do and this is it.
6.) Feeling a little more at home back in my old job
7.) Having back-up clothes in my bookbag. Gotta remember that shit.
8.) Protector getting me the butterfly coloring book
9.) Protector understanding me and what I was saying when I went somewhat non-verbal in walmart
10.) Having an okay and mangable day amidst the chaos.

Goals I had for today:
-Survive day 2 of work
-write an entry

Things I accomplished today:
-Survived work
-Wrote an entry
-Probably other things but my brain is fried at the moment

Goals for tomorrow:
-Work on some of the master to-do
-Shower
-Get some sleep

Goodnight <3

-There is probably more that needs to be added to this entry but I just can’t right now.