The Beacons are Lit. in Whey and Sonic Screwdrivers.

Crosspost.

I am hereby lighting the Beacons of Minas Tirith. Gondor calls for aid.

Reading my feed, I became aware something happened. I don’t have cable and tend to get my information from late night comedy. If you don’t follow LegalEagle on youtube, do. Informative; you can also tell when his emotions are breaking. This was one of those times.

I am hereby requesting Canada to invade us. Mexico to invade us. Britain, Australia, and Germany, too.

We have had a serious incident of terrorism recently. The trump terrorism has been all over the country these past four years. But our capitol was raided by a terrorist force. Our capitol hasn’t been raided in almost 200 years. In the words of Captain Jean-Luc Picard

“The line must be drawn HERE, THIS FAR, NO FARTHER!”

Because those rational among us know that these trump terrorists won’t go away after Biden is inaugurated. Their terrorist idol will continue to incident violence and discord. Biden isn’t perfect, but I know he will TRY. And he’s going to need help. Help us, World.

I don’t even care if borders are redrawn. This is TERRORISM. A mob of lunatics following a lunatic. Canada, you can have Minnesota. They are kind people like you. Mexico, you can have Texas. I don’t even care if Canada takes Jersey. Though, forgive us if you regard us a cranky, sassy Province.

Oh sure, we could move the Capitol again, but those trump terrorists will still be there. A Federation of Canadian Mounties, Mexican Militia, Australian Artillery, and German Infantry outside the Capitol will only do so much.

Please honor the olde Alliances that existed four years ago. Please help us, somehow, someway. This trump terrorism needs to stop. Please help us. Send your armies, send your politicians. We need to stop this trump terrorism.

The Beacons of Minas Tirth have been lit. Gondor calls for aid.

Will you answer?