Bah- Wednesday in Book Seven: Reconstruction 2020

So....
I stayed home from work yesterday because I wasn’t feeling well. And Remus was getting a COVID test so I felt that was best. Remus’ test was negative and the kids have been sharing a head cold, so it is our turn now. lol.
But I stayed home from work today, too. Because I’m so damn blasted tired. And tired causes increased pain. And increased pain causes low energy and low moods. And circumstances as they are right now already lend to low energy and low moods. So… bah. Bah all over.

I think about Essen’s issues and position and… find it interesting in how it is unique and yet familiar.

Different note: Nancy called last night. She was filling out paperwork for health insurance. There was about 5 minutes of talking about that. Then 15 minutes talking about Divorce Proceedings. Her mom is disappointed that Nancy isn’t taking me for everything. Honestly. Hired an attorney for Nancy who looked over the agreements and said, “I mean, you did waive a lot. We could fight for some if you want to but this agreement sounds like one of the most truthfully fair settlements I’ve seen.” BECAUSE THAT’S WHO I AM FORMER MIL! I may have been thoroughly screwed in a lot of bad ways in my marriage; but I’m not going to be an asshole when it comes to ending things. Especially as an attorney (but even more so as a husband, which I think I proved over and over again) I am dedicated to ethical, fair, just application of compromise and the law! Shit! Though… I do 100% understand where former MIL is coming from. And I even used these words with Nancy-
“From my perspective, I don’t want you to flounder, but I want you to take care of yourself. So you have half of the bank account but don’t have alimony or future payments in perpetuity (she jumped in with, ‘Nor would I want them!’). But your mom is worried for her only child and just wants to make sure you’re taken care of.”

WHICH.... also explains a lot about how a 40 year old woman could be the way Nancy is. Because the expectation isn’t “Did you get a fair deal?” The expectation isn’t “Do you have enough to get by before you’re back on your feet?” The expectation is “WHO WILL TAKE CARE OF HER?!”

After that conversation? 65 minutes of Nancy talking about school. Admittedly, I did get to tell a Nala anecdote about her and the kids… but the majority of the rest of that conversation was… very her focused. Which acted as an excellent (if somewhat exhausting) reminder. Because that’s who she is. And coming home emotionally exhausted from a job where I’m dealing with victims of abuse and sexual crimes… to “Let me talk at you for hours and could you make dinner” just… ooooof. Like… a conversation would be good. Back rub, cuddling.... maybe making dinner together or having it ready....... it really is funny. Coming home to just Nancy after work was additionally exhausting due to her behavior. But coming home to kids running around that want attention with Victoria & Essen cooking? And then having a conversation and playing with the kids. And just… able to exist without expectations? Frankly, truthfully, if I thought it could work out at all without me getting too emotionally involved.... I’d be totally fine with my COVID bubble just living here. Funny how 3 adults, 5 kids, and a dog can be less emotionally exhausting than ONE 40 year old woman who can do anything she wants all day.