rockbottom in Depression

We're back to the suicidal thoughts, the need to hurt myself and the hatred of everything about myself. I actually feel sick because I feel so awful in my head. I don't know what to do anymore.

This feels endless. This depression I mean. I'm trapped and every time I try to claw my way out, I end up falling back in, hard.

I just want it all to stop. Make it stop. I can't take it anymore.