Playing doctor in A day in the life...

First, get your minds out of the gutter....perverts.

Yesterday I spent all day, and I mean ALL DAY, at the therapist/psychiatrist's office. A couple of weeks ago at group therapy we were all asked if we would like to participate in mock interviews for interns. There were four separate groups at four different times, starting at 9:00 a.m., so I signed up for all four of them, and got paid $60. Easiest $60 I've ever made. Well, okay, maybe not that easy.

Here's how it worked: At the set times, we (the patients who volunteered) were put into an office (one patient per office) that had two doctors there to observe the intern, and the intern. The intern took on the role of the psychiatrist and I was their brand new patient. Here's what kept it from being the easiest $60 I've ever made - with every "visit" I was asked what brought me there and had to talk about my past, including the sexual abuse I was subject to as a child, which happened a few weeks before I watched my little brother get hit and killed by a car. This happened when I was 8 years old. I also had to talk about the time I was raped when I was 18, the physical and emotional abuse I endured from my father and my first husband, and my breakdown this past November and the subsequent hospitalization. I had to re-live these things over and over. During the first "visit" I was okay. By the time I made it to the last "visit" of the day I had my arms wrapped around my waist and was rocking back and forth in my chair and crying. I didn't realize these mock interviews would require us to basically start all over, like we were seeing a doctor for the very first time, and make us re-live things we've already dealt with and don't want to think or talk about anymore. Thankfully when the interviews were all over we had group therapy. We were all pretty emotionally wrung out, so we made sure to keep therapy lighthearted and laughed a lot. Still, I was so physically and emotionally exhausted when I finally got home that all I could do was eat some dinner, talk to my husband for a little bit, then go to bed. I slept for 14 hours...but I feel a lot better today. At least it's sunny out, even if it is still pretty chilly.

So anyway, that was yesterday and I'm glad it's over. I'm not sorry I did it, but it was harder than I thought it would be.

Later today I'm going to pick up my friend Mary and we're going shopping for the candy I need for the activity baskets for the elementary kids this weekend (it is Easter!), then we're going to the church and getting the baskets ready. After that we're going to grab a bite to eat. I really enjoy spending time with her, and she loves helping me out with the baskets.

My two younger step-daughters will be here this weekend. I'm pretty sure they won't go to church with me on Saturday evening, but my husband said he would. After church we're going to go back home and get the girls, go out to dinner, then go see the new Captain America movie. I've heard the movie is AWESOME, so I'm pretty psyched to see it. My husband is so excited he's like a little kid...lol. It'll be a fun night.

I found out today that I'm approved for the sixth and final month of short-term disability, so that's good. As soon as it's over, my psychiatrist is going to say I can go back to work, but only part time. AAA won't have a part time position for me, so they'll just "have to let me go." Once that happens I'll be able to file for unemployment and that's when I'm going to have the complaint served on AAA. I don't want to have it served until this final month of short-term is completely over and paid because I don't want AAA to try and stop it. I don't know if they could, but I don't want to take that chance.

Hartford sent me the paperwork for long-term disability, but after reading the section about pre-existing conditions I know they'll never approve me for it. I've never been treated for bipolar disorder in the past, but because I was treated for depression that's considered a pre-existing condition and on that basis alone they can deny me for LTD. So I, and my psychiatrist, am 99.9% positive that I'll be denied for LTD. We're going to go ahead and fill out the paperwork and send it in, but only because we have to. We know it'll get denied. Oh well...-shrug-

I'm hungry, so I'm going to go raid the fridge and cabinets and see what I can find to hold me over until Mary and I grab some food later. I hope you all have a wonderful day and remember....tomorrow is Friday! :-) Much love...xoxo