Bah in Book Seven: Reconstruction 2020

Oof.
Super slept in.
Have house cleaning to do.
The hyper-Trump “COVID is a hoax” former High School friend in Texas? Live tweeted her travel this week. Apparently she and her husband went to the airport, unmasked. Hung out at the airport, unmasked. Boarded the plane bitching about wearing a mask. Flew to Iowa and immediately removed their masks. And “will be enjoying their Thanksgiving weekend without masks and Liberal bullshit in Iowa.”

And honestly? That upsets me but it isn’t that much different from the bullshit around here and what I hear at work! And… I do feel somewhat bad about going to my parents for Thanksgiving but they are the ones saying “we saw you recently you need to be here”. And honestly- yeah. I expect to get a lot of flak on here for this but… FFS. My marriage? All of my carefully planned coping plans? Even seeing my best friend? Puff of smoke. Instead, I got to enjoy an unprecedented rise in sexual assault, domestic violence, and child abuse! So… yes. I am going to do a heavily modified COVID aware Thanksgiving with my parents.

And in part? It is a massive coping thing. The only Thanksgiving I have ever spent without a large group of friends or family was the first married Thanksgiving. And honestly that was… before the marriage crashed. Like, I know it crashed FAST… like the next month fast. But the first five months were good. And… I’m better. Honestly, re-reading my journal from last year around this time was good. And, like always Point of Orgasm nailed it exactly regarding how I was feeling, what I’d be experiencing, all of it. ROFL. So, I’m doing okay(ish). But… if we’re being honest… getting over the bad times took a while and I’m still processing and healing on that. I don’t want to tackle processing the good times right now. It would complicate things. I’ll deal with that later.

Though… I did see Nancy last night. I was walking Nala and we found our loop was close to Nancy’s apartment. The likelihood of her actually being there was slim to none but I wanted to see if Nala would recognize the area. Typically she is good about location association. Like, if we walk in the area of Victoria’s place, Nala freaks and whines to try to go see Victoria and the kids! And for a few months, she would do that at Nancy’s when we were in the area. So, I wanted to test it. As we walked past the apartment, no recognition. Nala was good. Just another place to walk next to. I looked up at Nancy’s apartment and was truly surprised to see lights on. Uh-oh. If her man was over, I really didn’t want Nala to freak and pull… but Nala was doing good!! However, at that moment, like it was freaking SCRIPTED Nancy looks out the window! Sees me, waves, waves me up. Nala gets all the way to Nancy’s floor before her butt starts wagging. We get to the apartment. Just Nancy, doing homework. After about six minutes, Nala was whining to leave. The Victoria/Remus/Essen & Kids gang feels more like family to Nala now then Nancy. Which makes sense. And is appropriate. Nancy and I talked. She’s getting things taken care of. Even has a solid lead on insurance so the divorce could happen sooner. And she finally answered a mystery that has been bothering me. Verizon hasn’t been sending me bills for the last 6 months. Not even e-mail. But the bill is getting paid and the money is coming out of my account. So I asked if Nancy had set up some kind of autopay or something. She had not. When the account went paperless the emails started going to her. As the cell account is still joint, she’s just been paying it out of our still joint bank account. SO that’s two things to add to the list! Fix the cellphone stuff as I fix the banking stuff. Other than that? The conversation was… same as always. Like nothing has changed. I mean… if the “same as it ever was” was just a brave front, I figure it would have changed by now. So, really emphasizing the point that… my marriage didn’t end a year ago… it ended long before. All that happened a year ago was me telling Nancy that she was going to have to leave the comfort of her everyday. That’s all. At least to her, anyway.