Proper Perspectives in Book Seven: Reconstruction 2020

  • Nov. 24, 2020, 12:03 p.m.
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(1) I didn’t want to simply launch directly into a complaint of anything so I wanted to state at the beginning that I had a lovely night last night. I don’t know what the specifics were necessarily… but Essen and Victoria making food, me hanging out watching them in the kitchen, the kids doing a mostly good job, Remus supervising… last night was really fun and quite relaxing.

(2) For reasons I am not even aware of, I couldn’t sleep last night. Like… try as I might, fucking nothing. Finally, I dozed off at 5 a.m. That’s… okay, less than 2 hours of sleep. Awesome. FUCK.

(3) Then I got into work and a giant ol’ fucking issue. I am going to tell you a story. This is a fairy tale, but it is close enough to something I want to discuss that you should hear it carefully.
Once upon a time, Jack had been having a difficult day. He’d traded the family’s cow for bean sprouts and traded the bean sprouts for Funny Juice. He invited his ex-wife over to his place, and as they drank funny juice, Jack started feeling more and more upset about his choices. So he went into his shed and pulled out a .38 handgun. He began waving it around, discussing how much he wanted to die. His ex-wife was very worried and called All the King’s Horses and All the King’s Men to come assist. As the King’s Men arrived, they surrounded Jack’s shed because there were an unknown number of people inside, and Jack was armed. The King’s Men demanded that Jack come out of the shed and surrender himself. Jack wasn’t having any of that shit. He’d had a bad enough day already. So he refused to comply with requests and told the King’s Men that he would only talk to The Prince. It took a while for the Prince to be available. After The Prince arrived, Jack finally decided to leave his shed and handed the King’s Men his .38 handgun. The King’s Men got reports from the ex-wife who stated that Jack had been waving the gun around and taking credit for some literal acts of domestic terrorism from a few years prior. The King’s Men don’t have enough evidence to charge Jack with the acts of domestic terrorism; but charge him with a Domestic Abuse because “it is likely while he was waving the gun, he had pointed it at his ex-wife”.

THIS is where I get the case. But the ex-wife witness states that the only time the gun was ever on her was when she tried to grab the gun away from him. He didn’t point to threaten, he just wasn’t sober enough to bring the gun back to his head after she tried to grab it. So she would not testify to the Domestic Abuse charges. FINE… I don’t give a fuck. You’re refusing Officer Requests while holding a gun and involved in a possible hostage situation?? AT THE VERY LEAST plea to Interfering with Official Actions!! I mean… that is a no brainer. You literally refused to comply resulting in a situation where the scenario had to be treated as a potential hostage situation. You certainly fucking interfered with official actions.
But he is refusing to plea to anything because, in his words, “They showed up to my suicide attempt with weapons drawn. That’s bullshit! They weren’t there to HELP ME. I wasn’t pointing my gun at them! FUCK THEM. I’m not guilty of anything. Assholes.”

And here’s my perspective on all this.
(1) Jack fucked up and should have his gun privileges revoked. Threatening suicide, use of a firearm while intoxicated, and stating responsibility in domestic terrorism should get your gun rights revoked. It does not. Not in the State of Iowa, anyway. He has to have a full mental health evaluation that depicts him as a “danger to himself and others” for an “extended and undetermined amount of time” at which point… the State can revoke his gun privileges for five to 10 years; at which time he gets them back after application. Because Iowa is such a red fucking state that our Supreme Court said that “legal blindness” was an unconstitutional reason to deny gun privileges. And this individual was not diagnosed as a danger to himself or others.
(2) My officers were NOT wrong in addressing the situation as a violent, potentially hostile situation. The call was regarding possible gun violence (yes, to self) but when a gun is being used by an unstable individual, the police cannot simply hope it isn’t going to be turned on them.
(3) Officers directing him to leave his residence and submit to their commands were not being “heavy handed.” If he had come out, dropped his weapon, and submitted to the police… they could have helped him by taking him to the Mental Health Center as they would have been (and were) required to do. Mental Health Help is not an officer’s responsibility. THIS IS WHY we keep mentioning maybe we should fund Mental Health and Social Work instead of militarizing the police???
(4) My officers ABSOLUTELY fucked up the charging decision. They should have charged him with everything then discussed with me what the legal standards were. No evidence for Domestic Terrorism. Fine. But were his statements to such a degree that he was threatening? Was he stating he would ‘do it again?’ Did he reveal any information that would be considered uniquely known by the perpetrator? NONE of them was given to me. Domestic Abuse? DA requires specific intent to cause harm or threat to the individual victim. Victim has stated that he didn’t even point the gun at her; that she kept trying to get him to do that to protect him. If he didn’t actually point the gun at her, I can’t prove that he “intentionally, knowingly, and voluntarily assaulted his domestic partner or an individual that may be considered a domestic partner by the Code.” What I do have is a very solid fucking case of Interference with Official Acts. Which they didn’t charge.

SO… best way, honestly, the absolute BEST WAY to resolve this mess for ALL PARTIES INVOLVED is for this Jack to take the plea to an interference, take his small fine slap on the wrist and piss right the fuck off. But no. Again. After an armed stand off with the police… “They showed up to my suicide attempt with weapons drawn. That’s bullshit! They weren’t there to HELP ME. I wasn’t pointing my gun at them! FUCK THEM. I’m not guilty of anything. Assholes.” Fantastic. Not like going to a jury trial on this would be a massive fucking waste of resources considering our already incredibly finite number of 2020 jury trials decreased by 8 months of trials that now need to be scheduled through 2021 while maintaining some deadlines AND coping with the actual cases that happen in 2021. No, no, no. Being an interant piss-ant demanding a jury trial for this bullshit is absolutely perfect. FUCK. Like… it is literally to the point of “Well, I could go to a jury trial on this guy… or prosecute the guy alleged to have raped his live-in girlfriend, sodomized her with a metal pole, and beaten her about the head any time she begged him to stop. GLAD ‘small fine and diminished charges’ is so offensive to Jack!!”
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And now.... there is literally nothing to do for the rest of the week. My one hearing that was still scheduled got cancelled because the judge decided “Fuck it.” So it is 11:00 a.m. on Tuesday and there are roughly 15 hours of my work week left with nothing to do. And my body in pain. So while I’m not in favor of the idea at all… I may just say fuck it and tell my boss I’m using vacation time for this afternoon and tomorrow. Because I don’t want to just sit at my computer reading webcomics for the next 15 hours simply so I can be “near a phone” should a Defendant call or (more odiously) so I can “look professional and hard working.”

Down with bullshit expectations; up with actual productivity.


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