What's This? in 2014

Two entries two days in a row! That is progress my friends.

It' hard for anyone to understand who doesn't share my beliefs, or even for those who aren't sure that they have ever heard from God, but I firmly am trying to live my life stress free knowing that I am walking with God and he is guiding my steps. I am learning to accept him for all that he is, especially the part where he wants good things for me. That might even seem weird to say to people who don't share my beliefs because why else would I believe in a God if not for the reason that he would bring me good things when I ask? But the point is that, I need to stop asking with apprehension, and just believing that he is my Heavenly Father and his desire is to bless me and my family, and quite frankly I need to stop getting in his way about it with negativity and the even the smallest doubts in myself.

Now with that disclaimer out of the way, I am here to tell you that I talked to Scott last night, and besides nailing down when and how I will tell my boss that I am no longer working there, we have come to the agreement that I will not be continuing to work past next week when his dad leaves. I asked him first what he would like to happen, and is still that he would like to give it a try, but he doesn't want me to do anything that I want to do. As soon as I got bold enough to tell him that I know God told me that he was choosing now at this time to answer my prayers about staying home and that it was time, he didn't need to hear anymore and was in agreement that it was what I need to do.

We shared our fears about a couple of things, but it was all things that needed to be said. I was finally able to be confident enough to say that I didn't think he would believe me when I told him things including the words "God said" and he shut my thoughts down on that right away. It really makes me feel better about many things. Now my goal from this point, is to stay focused on my prayers for my family, and my goals of staying at home. I want to be better than I was, and definitely much better than I have been. My heart has literally felt like it has been in two places since I starting working, and I don't like it. I feel like I am working two jobs, and am pretty exhausted all of the time. I just want to work one job from this point on, and for that job to be my family.

In other news, I finally got my Step Mom to give me an actual frame of time that they will come to visit. She is saying October, and while that is still such a far off time, it's better than nothing. I feel like it's too far off to count on anything, but it gives me something to look forward to. I also told her that while we are still hoping for a visit to California in the Summer, I just didn't know because of finances, and she told me that things are finally picking up for her at work, and she should be able to help make sure that happens. I also feel like I shouldn't depend on that, but again it's something to hope for.

We have church tonight, so I really shouldn't be sitting here writing. I should be cleaning up my kitchen and mess from this morning, and then starting dinner, but I really just wanted to stop in. I'll be sad when school is out, because our church only does Wednesday night services while School is in session. The kids are going to miss it too. I have no idea how Ian knows, but without fail, every Wednesday when I pick him up from FIL's house, he asks me if we are going to church, and same thing Sunday morning, except it's that the first thing he asks me when he wakes up is if it's time to get ready for church, or more accurately "chooch?"