Toxic ass people. in Since OD is shutting down....

I’ve done a lot of thinking about my so called “friend” that I’ve gone to visit and I am just so glad all the shit happened like it did before anything really awful could have transpired. It’s just crazy that I chose to let this person back into my life after living off me for 6 fucking months and I had to call the cops to get him out of my house. After that, we didn’t speak for about a year and a half. I wasn’t super sad when he moved away and life went on. Well, we had recently reconnected and that’s when I decided to go visit. I spent a lot of time, money, and energy going to visit just for him to prove some more how fucking toxic he is.

It’s just crazy how people will try and mooch off you, even knowing you are a single Mom that doesn’t have a lot of money and doesn’t receive CS. I was super irritated the first time I went to visit and decided that he wanted to Doordash using my car and my fucking gas the morning I was going home. I didn’t want to spend extra time in the car knowing I have a 5 hour drive ahead of me. Well, he had ran all my gas out so my light was on and decided I didn’t need to get gas! So I’m tired as fuck trying to find a gas station and fuel up before heading out of fucking town.

I was really irritated this last time we went to visit and I had to argue with him to get my daughter’s Halloween candy. He said that I didn’t need it. Uh, pretty sure I am her Mother and I get to make the decisions of what MY CHILD needs! Having to argue with him over this made me completely forget to make a final sweet before leaving hence why I forgot my fucking jacket. Well I lucked out and a Facebook friend was going to be there on Sunday and she went and got it. I have to wait until Saturday for her to come back but I’m going to feel a lot better once it’s back in my hands.

It’s just so aggravating how this bitch makes everything into a huge ordeal when it shouldn’t be. I even offered to pay him 3x what the jacket was worth to mail it back to me and it decided that I didn’t need it because I’d be wearing my winter jacket. Well, we’ve had a lot of really nice days where I could have been wearing it. Then, I notice the other day he had changed all of my fucking radio stations in my car to the stations there. I’m not sure how that would help anything when I don’t fucking live there!

I used to believe that everyone deserved a 2nd chance but I get burned every single time I invite bullshit people back into my life. I honestly feel that I do better all by myself. I don’t need extra headaches. I have plenty of problems and I’m not going to be friends with people that just add to them. I’m sorry that he’s fucked up but it’s not my job to stick around and tolerate his games.

It would be super nice if I could find halfway decent fucking people to pal around with. I am so tired of dealing with people that just set out to use and abuse and ALWAYS have their own agenda.

Not sure if it’s just my personality or bad experiences but I just want to be left alone. I only ever really want to deal with people when I need a sitter and that’s it. I just can’t really stand other humans. Most people are just shit piles.

My friend was also trying to talk me into moving there. I never would do that for a million reasons but after everything he’s pulled the 3 times I’ve visited there is just no fucking way. I ain’t gonna be 5 hours away from any kind of babysitter and be at his mercy if I needed someone. I have made sure for the past 3 years that I’m not at anyone’s mercy and I’m not about to start now. I’m also not going to move that far away just to move into another apartment.

So my next issue is I don’t know what to do about my job situation. I gave up every weekend and holiday for 7 years for the last shit show and I’ll be dammed if I ever do that shit again. I also hate people so I don’t want to work with them. I’m going to see about a work from home type of job because I just want to be able to stay home with my daughter and not have to deal with daycare bullshit anymore. I’ve never been a big fan of those places and it’s been super nice to just have her all to myself. I like being able to take her shopping, go to the park, get a her a new toy, go out to eat.

It’s just really hard being a single Mom. I wish I never had to need a babysitter. It’s just so expensive regardless of who’s watching her. My Mom shows up and fucking eats all my food, makes sure that every dish and eating utensil in the house is dirty and doesn’t clean up after herself. It is just so expensive.

UGH. more later