Far to long for what little I had to say in Second 1st

  • Oct. 2, 2020, 7:53 a.m.
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Update to the last entry .... Kevin hadn’t responded till almost 8:30.... well into shift. I was hurting enough not to care and had gone back to bed so whatever.

Rocky’s blood tests had come back and… well… I guess it didn’t strike me at all before but the lady who gave the results over the phone said “fatty liver disease”.... the PCP when he did our yearly stuff had said “fatty liver”. The word disease.... well it carries weight because suddenly we are concerned .... looking up what that means and what we can do.

That’s the major thing that’s been happening over the last 2 weeks....

Rocky attempted to go to another orientation and had another attack. “We” decided that pretty much till he can get this figured out he’s going to be home. You know this stresses me out big time.... I’ve had a few dizzy moments… a few migraines .... which is going to be perpetual stress because.... 9 migraine pills a month that cost something like $40 that if I wasn’t having the frequently could be overlooked. I have to work.... I have less than a day left of PTO and now I’m the only income anyway. It’s okay.... logically and if I actually made a budget we will be fine. Nothings getting “extra” till Rocky gets back to work at least till I get this figured out. Things will for sure get paid.... there’s roughly 1700 in “bills” and I bring home 2700 leaving 1000 for groceries/gas.... I mean if we can’t do it we need to reevaluate big time right?....

After the second orientation He’d gone to the hospital.... I left work at noon last Thursday. We sat in the waiting room till almost 6..... I should have stayed at work .... we were back with the doctors till 10. Rocky had a follow up with the Cardiologist and he’s been scheduled another (had one in January I think) stress test for Oct. 20th (my birthday) and then to go over the results at an appointment the 21st. I asked Kevin if I could use vacation time for the 21st. I have 72hr of that and will likely end up using it all during this time.

He had an appointment with a G.I. doc Wednesday… … he’s going into “surgery” today. He’s having a camera shoved down his throat at about 1:30pm today. They will drug him up. He will sleep most of the day because he’s not allowed to eat for 12 hrs prior (right, like he wasn’t going to sleep late anyway).

Internet searches had given us possible treatments for the fatty liver. We are not going to attempt low carb. I’m pretty excited and disappointed at the same time. There is so much carby food in my house.... and with Rocky not working I can’t just give it away and start a new thing. We will have to set a carb goal for the day and like have 1 carby thing a day until we eat all the things. So, I’ve been looking up keto stuff because they are super low in carbs. Goal is to keep it to less than 100 carbs a day. Mayo Clinic says you need between 225-325g of carbs a day. With all the other education to me this translates to when you use more than the -100 we are trying to consume it would come from fat stores..... If that seems to to SOME good than we won’t go full KETO.... I’ve heard good and bad things about it and though the results have been pretty hard to ignore I don’t want to be that miserable. Not to mention KETO with low sodium and the migraine restrictions makes it hard to follow meal plans/ideas.

I mean seriously Keto breakfast … mostly eggs.... and I’m really supposed to keep that to less than 3 eggs a week.... and when I don’t I feel it.... my worst migraine triggers are barometric pressure, too many eggs, any nuts, onions, caffeine (no more than 2 cups of coffee a week), alcohol, and when I don’t drink enough water. At least those are the things I’ve noted .... though obviously some of them are out of my control.

So.... we started this new journey last week. I weighed myself Friday morning.... 325.... :(.... I made keto type meals.... I found that though we are not huge fans of cauliflower rice it can be substituted in stir-fry at least.... I mad keto stuff for work .... and because I was unsure of what we needed and how it would go I have left over groceries ..... so that’s good because we spent almost $200 last week .... should be more like $80 this week....

Weighed myself Tuesday morning 319.... cool I mean pass some more cauliflower please.... If this is how 1 a day carb is going to go.... I will trickle in the cookies and granola bars till they are gone..... and in the mean time look for some alternatives to make it easier to work in the actual rice....

Weighed myself Friday morning 316.8...... huh.... k....gonna try some wheat bread this week that’s like 4 carbs a slice (as opposed to the 15 we are used to) because I apparently miss bread already and refuse to pay $10 for 2lbs of almond flour to make my own. (and again nuts=migraines) Also going to get some kind of low carb wrap to make some kind of breakfast wrap.... I don’t know wrap … sandwich or something.... sounds doable…

Went out for dinner last night with Aliyah … I know anti everything above BUT.... my legs weren’t hurting and I had energy and there was 300 in my personal account .... I know we are about to buckle down hard so.... one last hoorah before we do?.... we went Mexican and Rocky came with. No alcohol for him so I shared a pitcher of margaritas with her. Again anti above.... look… I know I’ll feel it in a few days.... I know I’ll regret it.... but to me not having drinks with a coworker falls in the not living category and I’m still not mentally well.... anything I think I can do.... so drinks with a friend.... no guilt trip k?..... Had fajitas (-onions)

Get home and there’s a text I just saw before bed.... saying the house account is over drafted by $112 bucks..... ? Look I know I cut it tight this week and I had warned Rocky that if he went anywhere he’s to use his own account.... and if it was something we needed to let me know and I’ll get it on the way home. I know he didn’t do it.... I did make a math error and though I thought there was only going to be 2.53 in the account from Tuesday -Friday There was actually 41 something.... Anyways.... I got up and checked the account and we’d been charged 149 for something.... so I moved $200 from MY account.... and I felt super broke.... and drunk lol..... and went to bed.

Getting up this morning I look at it with a clearer head. Luckily I had moved that money otherwise there would be an overdraft fee.... The bill.... well the electric was due the first and apparently I have it set to take an auto payment if I don’t pay it in time. I’ve been paying it 2 weeks early (for at least the previous 6 months) and had totally forgotten that was a thing I did to prevent paying a late charge when I occasionally forget to do it on time. I’ll have to remember that next month. It was a bill I planned on paying today ..... and now I’ve contributed $200 of my personal money to the house so.... I guess that’s done....

We were going to use $975 bucks out of the HSA to pay down the Chiropractor (43 a week) but I’m going to be paying Rocky’s Doctors with it instead. It’s money I don’t see.... it increases by $60 a week and that way the DR bills shouldn’t pile up so much.... most should be covered by insurance anyway and when we get this figured out I’ll use the rest on the chiro....

Free adjustments are tomorrow. 10-1 no appointment. We need to go as early as we can because....

Mom messaged yesterday and wants to come hang out. She called it grocery shopping.... we have a couple bulk places here they don’t have near her. She’ll be up here around 11… I will likely offer to take her to lunch.... maybe if it’s just us we will do something hipster like Panera Bread or First Watch.... but we would be happy with Taco Bell or McDonald’s I’m just thinking I will be more able to stick to low carb at something lest fast food.... but if Rocky comes it will be junk because cost..... so we will see.

I haven’t really talked to mom.... in roughly 3 weeks?.... With Rocky being such a source of stress and me not wanting to put my shit on others.... but hopefully I can at least fake a positive attitude for a few hours with my mom…speaking of not having a positive attitude.... I’ll start another entry.


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