People surprise me. in Since OD is shutting down....

Uh yeah so I worked until midnight last night. I don't even know how I was still standing considering how tired I was. My manager (the one I just love to pieces) told me, "we have big things planned for you" and I know what that means. It means they want me to learn everything so I can become a manager. I'm so scared and excited at the same time. It's always been my dream to be a manager and maybe it will happen. Sometimes I don't think I'm up for it and sometimes I'm completely ready. Last night was alright, I was so glad to come home, eat and go to bed. Today I slept until about 11am and then I just laid there for like an hour. I heard someone knock and I couldn't tell if they were knocking on my window or on my door but I got up and looked after the second time they knocked and it was my ex!!!!!! OMG! I watched him outside and he looked around for a minute waiting for me to maybe open the door or something and then he got in his truck and left. I felt like it was just a dream because I think about him everyday and would fantasize that he would show up like that but now that it's happened I have to remind myself that I've never been good at letting go of people even when I know that it's a dead end and now I know that it's probably what I need to with him. I need to leave it alone and I want him to just go away. It's been 2 months again and it just feels like now that I'm actually moving on and I don't cry every time I think about him that he's going to come back around to make sure I don't move on. He sent a Facebook message saying hi and he wants me to contact him so we can talk. WTF do we have to talk about?! I just feel like he misses having someone who he could treat like shit that was just over the moon for him. I refuse to allow him back into my life because just like my ex John, it will never change. It would be the exact same cycle of toxicity that it ever was and I just have wayyyyyyyyy too much going on in my life now to go back to being upset and crying everyday again. He told me for months, even after we broke up that he's never gonna change and blah blah blah so again, I think it would be best for me to just let it be. I know that I still hurt over him and think about what could have been and now I have to focus more on what I know instead of what I feel. I want to think maybe he realizes what he lost and is ready to make it right and be the man I always knew he could be but chances are, he just wants to get in my pants. I just don't feel like he wants to get in touch with me for any other reason than to fuck with my head and my heart. I just know he's not getting a hold of me for anything good or positive. It's easier said that done but as of right now, I do not plan to contact him whatsoever. After everything that guy put me through, I know he doesn't deserve another chance. He put me through more shit than any other guy ever has and has completely changed my view of relationships and I will be forever changed because of him. I miss him terribly. I miss his kisses, how sweet he could be but I don't miss the sadness, the hurt, crying myself to sleep and loving him more than he loved me. I don't miss being a completely different part of his life that wasn't allowed to get to know his family, his life or even who he really was. He made no effort at all and I just refuse to go back to dealing with any of that. I just don't believe he could be reaching out to me because he actually misses me or still loves me. That's why I want to just forget that he came over and go about my day. Time to get ready for work.