Not more sane, but in a better mood in These titles mean nothing.

Oh my god - not another list!!!??

Guess so.

Here goes —

• I ate a whole Amish apple pie in the last 24 hours. Half in daylight, half in dark. It was quite tasty - made with fresh apples, I believe, because they had a bit of an al dente feel to them. The pie and a loaf of still warm Amish bread were delivered by the neighbor guy who appreciates being let hunt. He and another neighbor guy have first dibbs on hunting and trapping our land. They negotiate rights between them and get along will - I definitely hope. Not sure if the other guy brings food or not though.

• Also not sure if calories consumed in daylight stick more than those consumed in the dark. A person is generally more active during the day so maybe night is worse. On the other hand it’s dark and you can’t see how fat you are, so maybe you gain less. Days are getting shorter, nights longer now. We get to the halfway point on the 23rd of this month according to my Innovative Ag Services calendar that hangs on the end of the cupboard that juts out above my table site.

• I wish I could see sunrise from my table. I stood looking out the east windows and thought that would be a bad place for the table. Guess I need a new house.

• This is a bad bullet list. All three points relate to one another and so does this one. Shame on me.

• And I want to write about food/diet/eating. I have a bunch of Joana’s energy drinks and instant breakfasts left. I think I’ll mix them half and half with milk and heat them up and drink them myself. Not diet food, but after you’ve eaten an Amish pie in 24 hours, you can’t be considered on a diet.

• My veggie and protein dishes are still good though. Scrambled eggs and green peppers, cucumbers and or tomatoes with tuna or cottage cheese. Chopped celery is nice too. I like to eat a bowl full of those things. I’m into volume if you haven’t noticed. I add a little cider vinegar or onions or semi-low-cal Italian dressing from time to time.

• It rained last night. Jim had to fold up the kids’ camper in the dark. It was hard work. I don’t know if the seat belt is fixed. He picked up the part from the GM dealer in town the other day and it was frightfully expensive. The Ice Cream Truck is home.

• I miss running mechanical stuff by my brother. He was an authority on everything. He resented his wife’s cooking when he had cancer. Putting him together with Joana makes me think feeding a cancer patient is a study in various kinds of futility. Eating is something they have control of. And since they are sick, they don’t want to eat. I understand but it’s still not easy.

• Mike was fun to talk about the world with. He’s been almost everywhere and he had opinions. He had this mixed arrogance and sympathy that made him great in his own way. He and Joana were opposites in many ways but they came from the same place, from different but the same families. They were both attached to me, and I to them.

• The Freud bio by Peter Gay is not one of those chatty, detailed, anecdote filled books. It has a lot about the history of his times - Europe from 1980 to 1950 was a lively time. Freud was born 90 years before me and I can keep track of his age and what my family was doing at the same time. I’ve always had a fascination with Jewishness - with intelligence and accomplishment and their trials and tribulations. I would like to know someone who is Jewish - someone who would be willing to talk to me. I have the same feelings about black people. I have lived an isolated life. I know the world exists, but the view from my kitchen table doesn’t even include the daily sunrise.

• I have a new view of the word Liberal from the Freud book. The last half of the 19th century saw a lot of Liberal thought in Europe. In Vienna, it included letting Jews do more things, as well as social liberation. There were Jews in government - every ‘diligent Jewish boy carried a minister’s portfolio in his satchel’ - a quote from Freud’s first book The Interpretation of Dreams which included personal memories.

• Next paragraph starts with this sentence - it’s long and a lot to type so bear with me please - ‘ There is something a little pathetic about Freud paraphrasing the the late 1890 Napoleon’s memorable revolutionary dictum that each solider carried a marshal’s baton in his knapsack.’

• A couple years ago started to read - library copy so I had to take it back - I love OWNING books - a bio of Napoleon. Part of what I remember is that the French military was controlled (and officered) by nobility - UNTIL artillery required officers to know math so set the guns to hit a certain place. And that opened up positions for bright at math boys who didn’t have the right pedigrees. So there’s why you need to take math. It opens up the world for poor boys. And perhaps girls.

• So back to the term liberal - I’ve always been a liberal. When phone surveyors ask I say I am ‘extremely liberal’ so they know who whey are talking to. But now associating the term with allowing opportunities to Jews makes me even happier to be a liberal. Let us all be allowed in medical schools and law and journalism. I think from now on I’m going to wish I could have been a college professor.

• I come from very ordinary people. My parents and their parents and those before them were poor and uneducated, and I am still poor and uneducated. I love that books and the internet can give me pictures of the world. And the advantaged and educated people who’ve made differences and accomplished things. If I had all the money in the world I would have a big closet filled with all kinds of china ad use a different set for every meal and I would have psychoanalysis.

So there.

Happy Labor Day weekend, everyone.

Last updated September 06, 2020