rebounding trust SA and um. something. in The Wonderland Years: 2014. Done.

Ya know ok so. in dec. of last yr [2012 that 'yr'. again my yr is the school/tv yr not the actual yr] I was again sexually traumatised.

in Feb. my ex and I broke up.

in March Sage passed.

And from March - May there was. the whole Evan thing.

when my ex and I broke up. I didn't really talk about it, to anyone. I told like. 2 people. oh and Sage. [but then a little over a month later he passed, so].

I'm a really private person actually. unless it's on FB. I'm not you know. particularly vocal about my issues. like I'll blog about them and hit my friends up on FB and such. [well I guess that's really it. there isn't a 'and such' involved here].

the one friend who I hung out w/ outside of the bar save for evan was Sage. I had friends at the bar [ok so acquaintances/regulars/people I know] but we never. as said did things outside of the bar. no and Sage is. he was really good about that. I'm not someone who actually needs a lot of friends. and the few good ones I have are out of state, so. which isn't their fault or anything it's just how it is.

so after we broke up my ex and I I mean. I blogged about it but I didn't really talk about it. [no instead I drank a fukload. and not just bc of that]. and no the people who left notes on my entries regarding that. thank you.

it's just different than actually sitting down and talking about it.

I think I knew even back then that evan was my rebound guy. but again I didn't pay much attention to it. there wasn't time to. [no since my best friend had passed and also I was losing my battle, so]. just like when I met my ex uh..................almost 1.5 yrs. ago [I think if my math is correct. I was 24 when we met so...........yeah. I'm 26 now birthday's in august. we met in dec.] I hadn't come to terms w/ the 2nd SA.

I don't feel like I wasted the yr. I was w/ him no that's not what i'm saying. I'm saying that at the time we met I wasn't ready to be w/ anyone. and I hadn't had enough time then. and I've always regretted that.

which he never understood since I didn't explain it to him. well, or otherwise.

you know I've been reading up on rebound relationships and one of the things they say is that your friends say something about it. yeah but that didn't happen w/ me. bc again I'm a really private person and also bc I'm not that verbal regarding my issues. there's not much I vocally tell people. if you want to know what's going on in my life well then. read my blog since it's the best way.