3 Months In and Other Stuff in meh...

I have no new thoughts on what to do for money. My buddy said to “vision board that shit and get busy.” or something like that. I’ve got no vision, no boards. Just vague ideas. I asked a question. What does a community need right now, where I can make money, sure, but mostly, whatever I do I want to make a difference. I asked for real, tangible things, no vagueness, but someone came in with the intangible variable of love. What I’m looking to do is for the love of God, the love of people, however, what is the manifestation. That’s what I’m looking for. How to materialize that into something people can use. Then she started spouting off hotel rooms for those in need. I get that, but I’m barely paying bills and making rent on my check to check and I don’t see me making doing that.

A few friends keep bugging me about the food truck idea.
1) It’s not the same without my sister.
2) As much gas as people like to give me, I’d be doing this by myself and I don’t want to do that because
3) Cooking is some seriously physical work.
I’m 46 and I know there are grandmothers in the back of some restaurants holding it down, but I want to be able to REtire not BE tired. lol And I’d be a micromanager if I brought people on because I don’t trust them to do things like I want them too. And I will get the people all, let me handle this and I relax and the stuff come out tasting like shoe leather. I am not with that. Honestly, every time I think about the restaurant business, all I see is me alone in a kitchen with orders backed up. That’s not good, but that’s what I see.

:: P A U S E ::

I actually took a whole lot of phone calls and then watched the latest episode of The Chi. I ain’t right. I got sidetracked. I get side tracked a lot. that’s not good.

Me and the sibs are getting together to rehearse a song. Our godsister died a few weeks ago and the funeral is tomorrow. Getting together tonight. I won’t be home until late. I have to go to the grandson’s school to pick up his…

:: P A U S E ::

I ain’t right again. LOL My 30 minutes of frustration disguised as a lunch break was rushed and disastrous and I wasted gas. Now I’m on an equally frustrating call with my daughter. She is working nights again and the oldest grandboy has 100% virtual school. Who watching the kids at night? Where will they be watched? I do have to work M-F still. Why am I the only one who cares about the details of things??? UGH

Anyway, I’m hungry and PMSing and angry because I’m PMSing and hungry because I couldn’t even get lunch. I’m sooooo not in a good mood right now.

I know I’m PMSing because I’m on the brink of tears because I’m hungry. LOL It’s not because I’m hungry, it’s because I’m frustrated. PMS exacerbates things.

AND I CAN’T VISIT MY MOTHER STILL BECAUSE THEY DON’T DO VISITS ON THE WEEKENDS… I’m so sad.

Kindest regards,
Sister