today's stuff in Second 1st

I make lists.... it helps me feel better. Even when the day seems like it’s going to be too much it’s nice to know what to expect. What to strive to achieve.

I talked to Rocky yesterday on the way to the OBGYN appointment… OBGYN.... I love that guy. He does not at all come off as creepy but that he genuinely cares about the health of the women who are his clients. He’s super fast and always prompt. My appointment was at 1:15… they are on lunch till 1 and the signs on the door said Rocky couldn’t be there but It was 12:45 so we hung out in the car. I went back up at 1:09 and by the time I was done signing consent papers for insurance or verifying address and whatever the nurse asked me back. All was done by 1:20. I drive about 40 mins to go to him… and I always will … as long as he’s working.

I talked to Rocky on the way to yesterday. I hate that the world needs me.... I mean it feels like It would be better if I could get a few days where the world didn’t..... no appointments he said “When you weren’t working you just wanted to get out of the house.” Like it’s supposed to make sense. I told him how once I go “talk to someone” I’m going to have to all the time. More appointments and I just want some time. “How long?” I suggested 2 weeks. In 2 weeks I will make time to look for a doctor to help me with mental health. I will not be going to my PCP to talk about how I think I may need to talk to someone. I will find someone to go to where I don’t need a referral. I will look through my insurance.... or HR at work.... 2 weeks after the last chiro appointment Monday. I will try honest. However, at this moment I believe that whatever happens I will fake it. I will pretend to be okay just so he doesn’t push it. I need to do whatever in my own time ya know? I know he cares I just don’t need to be pushed.

Tuesday I’m having breakfast with Krystal. Wednesday I need to take the car for an oil change.

Today.... today I’m doing laundry now..... dishes when I’m done with this entry.... MTurk is pulling but I’m not setting a goal for today because it seems like I won’t be home for a long time so there is just no way to reach the 10 I like. We took Rocky’s car to the shop Monday because his A/C went out. We will have to pick it up today fixed or not. … i think there was something Rocky needed faxed off so we will have to do that at some point. I’d ordered a couple mystery boxes for the business so we need to pick those up. We need to get the van some TLC so in the mean time I thought I’d do something different.... The van wouldn’t go over 35 at first when we took Sammy to the dorm. Talk discovered that we haven’t done anything to it since we got it.... and that ain’t right.

Rocky thinks he can do it and I want to talk to our car guy when we go down to get his car. ....

Anyways… have a WM pickup at 11-12 and the chiropractor at 10.... told Rocky he needed to get up so he could call the car guy and figure out when we are going to get it.

Need to make food for the weekend sometime today.... Rocky wants to play card games this afternoon....

So.... laundry, dishes, MTurk, ACNH (gotta get on and buy the new stuff for the day), Chiro at 10, pickup 11-12, need to go to post, go get Rocky’s car, pick up mystery boxes, fax off the thing?, make some kinda food for the weekend and try to have some sort of chill time with Rocky before the weekend starts.

Right.... time to get to it (6:22am)