Nanna in Life from the bottom of the world.

It was decided by Miss Fidgets nanna (Bob's Mum) that when we arrive in Palmerston North, they will have Miss Fidgets and we will stay with Bob's sister who is now married with a 2yr old.

Miss Fidgets was very excited to be staying with her Nanna and not with us, as we were happy to have time alone LOL.

Today Bob's Mum told Bob that Miss Fidgets should stay with us at his sisters place.

WTF????

Bob told her that this wasn't happening. She was the one who organised this so this is how it is going to be.

MIL has just had her 2yr old grandson stay with them for 10 days whilst her daughter and hubby went to Thailand for a belated birthday. They live 10 min from each other and MIL always has her grandson babysitting or having him so his parents can get things done around the house.

I'm sorry but if your 9 yr old grand daughter is coming up to see you and you insist she stays with you, why would you change your mind?

To say Bob was not impressed is an understatement. His parents have always bent over backwards for his sister and do what ever she wants.

When Miss Fidgets was 2, they refused to mind her for a weekend when we had to come to the Sth Island to find somewhere to live! We ended up taking her with us to Open Homes etc.

They have never helped us out.

I wanted to go away for our honeymoon next year (we'll be married 10 yrs) and suggested to Bob that maybe his parents would want to come and mind Miss Fidgets whilst we went away.

They were happy to come if WE paid for their airfares.

Call me selfish but I thought that the opportunity to come spend one on one time with your only grand daughter would have you eagerly coming over and as they get discount flights because he is a war veteran it should be even more enticing. Alas this is not the case.

Now I am thinking that we won't worry about a honeymoon and we'll just go away in 2 yrs as a family for my 50th.

Bob's Dad asked him a few mths back if he would go to Vietnam with him as it's some anniversary for the Vietnam War. Wouldn't you ask your wife to go?

Bob hates travelling and trust me, Vietnam is not a place on his wish list. Are they totally dumb? We are not rolling in money and if Bob goes away then he uses up his annual leave, I am left at home to mind Miss Fidgets and still work and as going to Vietnam isn't cheap, we'll have no money for our own holiday plans. I researched flights and accommodation and food etc and when I gave the price to Bob, he said no way was he going as it's not practical.

Bob doesn't do dirty surroundings, heat/humidity and poverty. He hasn't said anything to his Dad, he'll just leave it and if he mentions it again he'll say how it's not something he can do.

This just emphasises to me how Bob's parents expect so much from him and often for their own benefit. They seem to have the blinkers on that we have a mortgage, we have bills, we have a child to provide for and we both work!

They on the other hand don't work, she hasn't worked a few hours each week for the last 7yrs (she only turns 60 this year) because it would reduce the government benefit and the veteran benefit that FIL gets. He can't work due to his physical disabilities but MIL has no excuse.

I should know by now that they aren't going to change, none of this behaviour is new...unfortunately. It still bugs the crap out of me though!