Kids and yelling. in 2014
- April 4, 2014, 10:54 a.m.
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- Public
Wow its been a while, sorry. Crazy busy this last little while.
Kids bedtime has gotten SO MUCH BETTER by just being a hardass. Like you all suggested. I just simply shut her door if she gets out of bed. So far shes whined herself to sleep one night, took like 20 minutes! The next night I didn't even have to shut her door at all. Now it seems like she comes out less and creates less of a fuss. Evelyn is learning too. Shes doing pretty well herself. A little worse than Miley but its coming along.
Also I read this article on "not yelling" at kids. Its a good read, and I've been doing this for 3 days now, and I'm already seeing a difference. Its not like I full out screamed at my children but sometimes, hey, I get angry... I've yelled at them. It seemed to be the only way to get through to them, and I am horribly wrong about that.
The article was called "10 steps to stop yelling. It talks about how parents think they should stop yelling but they don't. It says that yelling scares kids (obv) and makes them harden their hearts to us, and they go into fight, flight or freeze mode, so they stop learning whatever we are trying to teach. It made sense so I thought to myself, I've gotta try this.
Step one was committing to the child, that you are going to use a respectful voice. You have to tell your kid, make them a deal, that you commit to it. That you're trying to get better.
Step two was managing your own emotions etc Three is remembering that kids will act like kids, they are immature little human beings lol Step 4, stop gathering kindling, basically all these resentments start adding up throughout the day (we all know this) and once you've had enough, you basically explode. 5, offer empathy, so the kid will start to accept their own feelings, which is the first step to managing them. 6, stay connected and see things from their POV. 7, when you get angry, just stop. Shut up, don't do anything, breathe. If you are already yelling, stop.
There are lots of steps etc... One of them is asking for a do over, apologize. Its really going to take some control though, I get overwhelmed pretty quickly with my life and everything thats going on right now. But this is my main focus. The article says you will see your child transform right in front of your eyes, and I can really already see a tiny difference.
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