Future me does not exist in Boredoms

At work today some people were sharing with me their excitement for upcoming games, namely Elder Scrolls Online and Wildstar. Time was I'd be pretty excited as well as I always enjoyed sinking my time into MMOs but not this time. They asked me if I was going to be playing either or both and I said I couldn't afford to play any subscription games. I can though, I'm doing okay money-wise, but I didn't want to admit that I just didn't see myself committing to anything anymore. And I realized just then that I'm not looking forward to anything.

On a small scale I suppose I might still...moments when I get to spend time with friends...but I can't look too much further down the line than that. I think that's a bad sign. I haven't been doing too great in the last few months but I didn't think it had gotten to that point.

A friend invited me to a final dress showing of Into the Woods tomorrow and I declined. I love that show and I want to see it but...I don't know...I just can't. I miss doing shows and watching them makes me sad for that reason. Also, I just don't want to be surrounded by people being all happy and not terrible.

Also, on my days off (which is the majority of the week) I can't bring myself to get out of bed into well into the afternoon, sometimes evening.

Season 4 of Game of Thrones starts up this weekend and I'm not even really excited for that. :-/