Narcissist? in Journal
- July 16, 2020, 1:24 p.m.
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- Public
So I decided to tell my therapist about my mom today. I really like my therapist because she is level headed and, I think, very objective. I told her that I’m not looking to be ‘supported’, but rather, to get real feedback.
I’ve always been rather frightened of my mom. Terrified would be more accurate. Even in my own mind, I am very reluctant to criticize her.
But my therapist isn’t.
I told my therapist about the horse conversation with my mom. She shook her head sadly and said, “That is a clear narcissist. And that’s more than I ever want to know about your mom.”
She said it so matter-of-factly, it was like a slap in the face of my timid, fearful, reluctant self who is so scared of my mom. Wide-eyed, I looked around, as if the ghost of my mother follows me around to slap sense into anyone who opposes her.
But mom was nowhere to be found.
I was safe.
I relaxed a little. I nodded. “You’re right.” I told my therapist. “I just wasn’t able to admit it.”
She nodded sagely. “She enjoys taking away anything that gives you joy. Your horse. Your son. I’m sure this isn’t the first time she’s done it.”
Oh. My shoulders fell. I looked down. No. It was most certainly not the first time she’d done that.
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