Presentation Trend: Advocate Waiter in Book Seven: Reconstruction 2020

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Apparently… I have a lot to say today.

Let’s get to it.......

Yesterday actually worked pretty well. I spoke with Nancy about possessions and we’re both pretty uneasy about all of it. I’m uneasy because it is very possible that I’ll have to buy a considerable amount of replacement furniture. The dining room table in the dining room and the dining room table in the basement are both hers… a lot of the storage stuff and large pieces around the house are hers. So I’m uneasy trying to figure out what I’m going to do with a massive amount of empty space suddenly. Meanwhile, Nancy is uneasy because she has no idea what the hell she is going to do with all of it. Best case, she just takes it all back to her parents’ house to get stored. Now, of course, the argument could be made to have her leave it at the house and I pay her for it; thereby gaining lawful ownership and both of our problems are solved. But in truth, a lot of “her possessions” are (either in truth or by her understanding) her parents’ items that they gave her. And if she is moving out, she’d like them to go back to her parents. I know… there are easy, logical solutions that prevent doing things the hard way but… It is no longer my job to attempt to convince Nancy of different approaches. If she wants to remove the possessions and put herself through the stress of figuring out what to do with them… my only thing is to encourage her to get those possessions out of the house sooner than later so I know what I’m dealing with.

Then I discussed the fact that I would likely be getting an attorney by the end of August. She handled it well. She reacted with the resigned factual basis of me telling her that she has a textbook in a class that may be expensive. Simply the understanding that “This is what is expected but not exactly good news.” Obviously, I’m not thrilled either. But I think for different reasons. It is pretty clear by now that Nancy just… isn’t capable of taking care of herself. Financially, Insurance, self-Motivation… any of it. So for her… the full divorce filing is the most official end to the Free Ride there is. I’m not thrilled for the obvious “failed marriage” reasons but also due to, what I’ll call, the “nice guy” factor. I don’t relish the idea of taking active steps to remove health care or financial stability from someone. Even if I feel they may have wronged me personally; I’m not such a petty person as to want someone harmed… at least, not unless the harm is sufficient to flip my switch from “Compassionate” to “Ysmault”.

That being said, though? I decided to just go ahead and talk to Nancy about her dating life. And honestly, being open and honest about it… was better. Instead of Nancy treating it like something she needed to hide from me, and then revealing it, and tripping over herself… us just speaking openly helps to transition the relationship into a more friendship based one. Because earlier? When she was dating the guy with kids and fucking him and playing house? That bothered the shit out of me… partially because of our issue but honestly… partially because that would piss me off if anyone I cared about was doing that. Honestly. If a good friend of mine had just gotten out of a long term relationship; and within a matter of weeks was fucking some guy and hanging out with his kids and playing house?? I’d be alarmed and upset. But last night we just kind of sat and openly discussed our very different experiences with dating apps. Obviously… Nancy isn’t having ANY trouble getting attention. And I am. And that is upsetting. But it isn’t upsetting as a comparison. Like… it is no longer a matter of “Why does she get attention and I don’t?” Because… duh. I’m swiping right on women all the time. If Nancy is getting swipes like that (as the woman) than she is obviously going to have success. I’m just… grumpy about my lack of success.

But yeah. Ultimately, last night was a strong night of “We’re really settling more into Friends as opposed to Exes.” But we’ll see if that continues as we draw closer to divorce finalization.

On a similar subject, I wanted to share a somewhat humorous thing from last night that I think may say A LOT about how my mind works! Victoria texted me to ask if I was free on Saturday. THIS is strange and unique as she usually texts “Free tonight?” or is very much more spur of the moment. So, curiosity 1. I am traveling out of town because I need to pick some things up at a Super Target (closest one is over an hour away) so if I have to do a long range trip; I’m going to maximize efficiency. I’m planning to hit Super Target, Best Buy, and get a bit of a trim (social distancing and masking obviously) but… I mean, shit. I have an in-person trial TOMORROW. Scruffy McWeirdHair quite genuinely has to risk infection at a salon because, as we all know, a jury or “fact finder” can rule against evidence for such petty and bullshit reasons as not liking the tie I’m wearing or the fact that my hair makes me look disorganized. Bit of a tangent but… it is important (and bullshit) to point out that our system of justice works that way.... in such a way as to make sure I’m doing my job properly… I may need to risk infection just so I look better. BACK ON TRACK:
So, my Saturday is relatively busy but I expect to return home sometime between 7 and 9. So when Victoria asked if I was free on Saturday; my response was: Depends on what time, but I can certainly shuffle some things around!
Victoria’s response was: Well. No need to on my account

And I’ll be honest, I don’t know how to respond to that. For a few different reasons.
(1) It is highly unusual for people to not pounce on my “I can rearrange my life to accommodate yours” type of responses;
(2) IF she wanted to invite me to go somewhere or do something, I would want to… not just “to do something with her” but because (as she is so active and social given normal conditions) I would very much like to use her connections to get myself “out there” in general;
(3) BUT I have a strong and sneaking suspicion that she was inquiring about babysitting. Y’see, she is typically “spontaneous” because if her husband is home and can watch the kids, than she’s more able to say, “I’m free, wanna hang?” BUT if it is a situation where she and her husband will both be out, they have to coordinate so that they can get a sitter. It wouldn’t be that strange for her to ask me.
(4) BUT there’s also the other element of that… her husband is also involved in the Kink and Poly lifestyle, and Victoria told me explicitly that it is really hard for her to sleep these days as (prior to breaking up with her boyfriend) if her husband was going to be out late, she’d have her boyfriend lay in bed with her until her husband came home. So… it may have been along those lines as well.

So ultimately? I just… didn’t respond. Because I didn’t know what to say.

Last night and this morning has been very rainy. Rain typically means additional pain. In waking today, I did not have that pain. This is always a Good News/Bad News situation. Because it means that my body was reacting to the barometric shifts in my sleep. GOOD NEWS. The pain was while I was asleep and my body released Coping Chemicals to help me for when I woke up. BAD NEWS. Since the coping chemicals were not released while I was conscious… I was not able to respond and deal with the emotional component in real time. Y’see… for whatever reason (lots of possibilities) the chemical release to deal with the pain (in this kind of instance) is the same kind of chemical release that sends me into inexplicable and illogical rage. So imagine a time recently where you were really angry. Now imagine waking up like that. First thing. Yawn, stretch, rage. SO… right off the bat, I’m trying to play catch up on managing my rage response. In the shower, I’m thinking about work and what elements I need to take care of so as to do my job well and diminish the rage. As I get ready, cycling through all of the things I need to do to make sure I’m reasonably prepared and can start to build walls around that rage so it doesn’t explode onto someone needlessly and unfairly.

In the car, my mind tries to prepare for the inevitable political bullshit I know I’ll have to sit and smile through. The “libertarian push” to try to “limit government but for the GOP culture war issues”. And I instantly think about a case we’re working because… honestly… I am in a brilliant position to argue, factually and persuasively, that American Citizens are not mature enough to have a “limited government approach.” For example, there are two neighbors that are just… monsters to each other. Well, I clearly blame one neighbor more than the other. But here’s how it came to me. We’ll use initials of M and H. Household M is part of a family that is constantly in trouble with the law. Household H had, previously, never been heard of in my office. Our cops call me to tell me that they are SICK of dealing with the bullshit, petty, borderline criminal feuding between M and H. I remind them that there are criminal statutes they can refer to and if the behavior becomes criminal: charge it. SO one day, M has video of H coming on to her property and M and H fighting. Police have told each of these adult women to stay off of each other’s property and leave each other the hell alone. Therefore, H’s entrance onto M’s property is trespass. Charge it. As the facts of the case come out… what had happened was that M’s kids were on H’s property bullying the fuck out of H’s kids. H came out and told the M Kids to leave and stop what they were doing. The M Kids were little assholes about it, injured a child, and went back onto M Property. That is why H went onto M’s property. I dealt with it by saying “Trespass, pay the fine. Next time M Family Members trespass on your property, don’t take the bait.” Fast Forward to this Month.... M House learnt that the Man of H House had served in the military and suffered from PTSD due to being in firefights in Fallujah. SO… being the absolute monsters that they are… M House decided to load the back of their pickup truck with fireworks. Not “get a lot” load… like… fill the bed COMPLETELY with fireworks to almost overflowing. THEN M House waited for a quiet moment in the night; and lit the entire damned thing. OBVIOUSLY Police were called. What NONE of us can believe is that nobody was injured, no houses caught fire, and the truck didn’t fucking explode. THAT is the surprise there from the massive fireworks shit. But consider that. These are adults. Adults with jobs and children. Being so petty and shitty and immature that they risk their own safety and the property of everyone around them… in an effort to douche-ily trigger a veteran’s PTSD… because they don’t like their neighbors. AND THAT KIND OF IMMATURE NEIGHBOR BULLSHIT ISN’T UNCOMMON. So… when you deal with that every week? No, I can’t support any system of government that suggests “People will do the right thing.” All I can support is a government that says, “If you’re a dumbass, stop being a dumbass!”

Then I finally pull into work and go up to my office. Where a phone call is being aired, loudly, because… well… of course. We have a Domestic Violence Case. 48 year old man and 49 year old woman (married) are arguing at which time the man chokes her, throws her down on the ground, drags her around by her hair, and then throws her hard against the wall. LUCKILY the woman was so traumatized by the whole damned thing that she (so far) doesn’t want us to stop prosecuting. She even called her out of state sister to let her know that she would need emotional support to get out of the relationship and get help. HERE’S THE THING… and this is why I constantly say “People, don’t marry someone you don’t fucking know!” The Defendant in this case? A considerable criminal history. Multiple drug charges over the last 40 years, multiple burglaries, SEVERAL felony convictions. All of which the victim is saying she had no idea about. So… the dude’s a career criminal but (at least based on convictions nothing violent). Here’s the issue. Career Criminals, especially those involved in the drug trade, have career criminal friends. And those friends have been.... advocates… for the defendant. Calling, harassing, and threatening the victim and her sister in an effort to make her stop the prosecution. IMPORTANT (if needless) CAVEAT all parties involved are white. So if you have some “black gang” envisioned, that ain’t it. More like… your redneck, wife beating, drug dealing trailer park trash kind of gang. That doesn’t change anything fundamentally, just wanted to be clear. This isn’t Deshawn threatening people; this is Ricky and Bubba.

I put that out there because… these phone calls are the first things I hear when I get to the office. I haven’t even sat down or turned on my own room’s lights yet. But as soon as I do? Super Whites (which is what I should call the employees who keep doing this) start in on bitching about BLM again!! Like… the fuck?! Our office is repeated proof that White People are criminals and monsters and assholes… and the very small black population we have here is no more criminal than these white assholes… in fact, less so. But the statistical averages don’t lie. Black people make up an overwhelmingly large percentage of imprisoned population. In fact (true story) there is a former military member (black) who was sentenced to five years in prison because he bought medical marijuana with an EXPIRED Medical Card. Not that he didn’t have one. Not that he forged one. Just that the one he had was expired. And he was sentenced to FIVE YEARS. Meanwhile… y’all remember Brock Turner? And the three months in jail he did for a serious sexual offense? SO… yeah. We should at least HAVE THE DISCUSSION of how we can address and fix that shit. BUT NOPE. Super Whites jumped right in on bitching about how Black Lives Matter just want to make all crime legal for black people. G.D. exhausting.

SO… finally, I boot up my computer for the day. My plans?
(1) File charges on pending cases
(2) Detention Hearing for a violent juvenile
(3) Meeting with a Domestic Assault victim about her case
(4) Preparing for Magistrate Court
(5) Preparing for two trials that are scheduled for tomorrow afternoon

But… of course… boot up computer and… my GOD our country is fucked!

Trump finally removes the CDC from Pandemic response.
Trump complains yet again that the biggest problem with COVID is that we’re testing for it.
White House Officials mount ever growing attack to discredit Dr. Fauci.
Besty Devos (who isn’t qualified to be a teacher, let alone run the Department of Education) has no plans to keep kids safe and is not in favor of additional financial assistance to KEEP kids safe; but dammit if kids don’t go back to school, that’ll make Trump look worse so we may just have to risk it.

YOU HAVE TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME!

Before I could start on any of my work after booting my computer and getting flooded with that?

A phone call.

THE phone call.

This fucking world.

I won’t rehash a lot of potentially sensitive material. I will say this:
I was recently shown police footage of an interview where the victim was ABSOLUTELY detailing several times she was raped, threatened, and assaulted. Those are all crimes. This is a woman detailing graphic and horrible crimes to a police officer. This police officer asks me what we should do about it. I say, FOR HER PROTECTION ALONE, we have to arrest her abuser. This man is escalating; using violence and rape… I’m not going to say “File a report and we’ll wait to see if she winds up dead or hospitalized!” SO we arrest him this morning.
PHONE CALL.
The victim is furious. Apparently, she told the officer several times that he was NOT TO PRESS CHARGES. That she was not willing to cooperate with ANY action which would get her boyfriend in trouble! That her boyfriend should NEVER have been arrested and why the fuck would I do something so stupid?!
Uhm.... breath, Chris. Don’t explode your rage over this woman. Remember, treat her sensitively. She is a victim and she may be scared. By all means avoid shouting at her and screaming that she is a dumb cunt that is going to get murdered if she doesn’t shut the fuck up. BREATH.
I explain, calmly and in what my boss refers to as my “Customer Service Voice” that the officer didn’t betray her trust nor do anything wrong. He presented body camera footage to the County Attorney’s Office as he is required to do. Due to the statements she herself made, it was very clear that the Defendant was a threat to Public Safety. That, in order to protect The Public, I issued an arrest warrant. And that a Victim Witness Coordinator and a Sex Abuse Counselor would reach out to her to see if there was any assistance she may need or anything she wanted to know about or talk about in regards to the criminal prosecution process. To which she replied, “I don’t give a shit. I just want you to know, these charges should be dropped and I’m bailing him out of jail the first chance I get!!”

I thanked her and told her to have a nice day.

AND NOW I AM TRYING TO KEEP THE NUCLEAR EXPLOSION INSIDE OF ME FROM CONSUMING ME, MY OFFICE, AND THE SURROUNDING AREA!

A man is sexually assaulting you. A man is physically assaulting you. A man makes a not-so-veiled threat that he will kill you. THAT MAN IS ARRESTED, THEREBY PREVENTING HIM FROM FOLLOWING THROUGH. And the first thing you do is get angry and try to stop the protection? You go rush to bail him out??

I know. Many of you who read me are smart enough, compassionate enough, and clinical enough to explain the psychology. Battered woman who has been manipulated, brainwashed even, to always put HIS needs and wants and safety and desire before her own. I understand that. But it does NOTHING to cool the nuclear rage in my heart at hearing this woman so furious that we would dare arrest this violent, sexually assaultive, previously convicted rapist for making her life a living hell. EVEN IF (because I consider this, because I damned near consider as much as I possibly can) she was doing that as a “show” to whatever friends or relations of his that may have been around pressuring her. NOPE. Sorry. Call me an asshole. Nuclear Rage still triggered.

WHICH IS UNFORTUNATE because I immediately had to go from that phone call and explosive rage to shifting down to “Authentic, Understanding, Supportive but tough Prosecutor” for my meeting with a Domestic Assault Victim who was abused so badly that she finally (third time’s the charm) wants to work with us to convict her abuser. SO… breathing, total transformation of my emotional content and visage… aaaaand meeting.

I know everyone has it rough. I know this is the life that I chose and I’m not regretting it or making excuses. And I know I’ve said this very sentence before. But fuck COVID for preventing all of my healthy coping mechanisms. AND SURE… sure, sure. Maybe that is evidence of a significant failing for me… that “travel” and “others” are primary elements of my healthy coping mechanisms. But ultimately? I mean… I suppose I understand how for some “Exercising alone” is a healthy coping mechanism. Or “reading a good book” is a healthy coping mechanism. Or even watching a good movie or something. But I’ll tell you… the reason why travel and “others” are so important to me, I’m thinking? My job and my everyday life are the stressors. Both of those places involve significant amounts of (1) processing information alone; and (2) dealing with some of the absolute worst of humanity. So… getting out of the literal physical space? GOOD as it helps break up the head space. Interacting with others? GOOD as it helps break up the head space AND (friends and family) aren’t typically the criminal or victim set my time is usually consumed by. And I accept and realize that lamenting the COVID restrictions is silly. Partially because I’m very open and adamant that I refuse to be as stupid and foolish as Florida has been about the damned thing. But… I’ll go back to the usual and the obvious.

Divorce is hard in the best of times.
Special Victims Cases are hard in the best of times.
These are not the best of times.
And I’m still pushing through on both. As best I can, anyway.