No Sleep Apnea in Weight Loss Surgery

Yea, some how I passed that test LOL. I forget if I told anyone that or not.

I snore like a freight train and Will was SO SURE I had it that I thought yea, I prob do.

I even slept on my back half the night cause I know that’s when the snoring is worse. IF I had it I wanted them to catch it but they say no so I’ll take it.

It’s so dreary and rainy today. I don’t really wanna work LOL. So here I am…

I heard something the other day that said workaholics are workaholics because they don’t feel worthy unless they get something for their work aka a big pay check.

I guess it’s the same as people who need approval from others all the time.

There are some people that do things for themselves and others that do it for recognition from others. But you don’t always need an award or certificate, a big paycheck is proof that you are a worthy human being.

I don’t know if it fits every person but I do def see this in Will. Only because whenever we have fights were I say I don’t get enough time with him he rants and raves about how much money he makes and how much he provides for me. And if he wants to get nasty he’ll talk about how little I make and that my education is worth nothing cause I don’t get paid well for it.

Our gap between paychecks has become a bit smaller since I got this job last fall but that probably threatens him instead of making him happy. And if I ever made MORE than him he’d probably feel worthless.

It’s also why he has to point out every chore he’s ever done so I can thank him for it… I do laundry, cat boxes, dishes, etc. erryday and if I made him thank me for everything I completed he’d be saying nothing but thank you for the next 10 years…

OH WELL

I somehow jumped into the 270s so I’m doing well but my period is on the way ready to fuck shit up I’m sure…

I say “somehow” as if I haven’t been tracking everything I put in my mouth.

My trainer is over the moon thinking I won’t get the surgery cause I’m losing on my own. But yea I’m still gonna get it.

The problem has never been losing weight - I can go hard for a few months and lose weight . It’s KEEPING it off that’s the problem. And also having it creep up every minute I’m not tracking every chew.

If I stopped tracking now and went back to eating how I want to it, I’d shoot back up to 290 in a weekend. AND THEN I’d creep past 290 slowly but surely and hit 300 by the end of the summer I’m sure.

That’s how I’m at where I’m at now. Knocking on 300lbs door at 39 years old. Slowly but consistently gaining every second I’m alive it seems.

The doc office said they resubmitted the codes for Will’s blood work so hopefully that bill comes down.

It’s weird - Will got a bill for $935 for his blood work cause they submitted it as an annual physical instead of weight loss surgery.
But I just got a call that my bill of $235 is coming in the mail - so maybe they did mine correctly and that’s the real cost of the blood work?
Still steep but we haven’ t met our deductible, etc. so I dunno if I’d even fight my bill - maybe it’s correct.
I’ll wait and see how Will’s bill comes out. If his is around $200 too then I know mine is correct and I’ll just pay it. We got the exact same stuff done.

Will’s so tired of Hamilton playing lol. Every time he comes out of the bed room and hears the music, he’s like AGAIN?!
I get obsessive over movies like that. Which is why I have so many goddamn VHSs and DVDs. Cause I love to watch things over and over. But now the movies are collecting dust. I’ve sold a few, I think I sent away a whole box to some company and got $13 and a lot more space on my shelves. But there’s still full shelves here.

I’m stupidly nostalgic.

Last updated December 21, 2020