Way of the peaceful Road Warrior in anticlimatic

We all have a distinct driving style.

Can’t help but assume, based on how routine and repetitive it is, that most of the effort in navigating traffic occurs subconsciously. Stands to reason that one could extrapolate a thing or two about themselves from their driving if one felt like it. Without thinking too much about it, I’d like to withdraw some evidence from myself for isomorphic analysis:

I am more patient now in busy areas of high commotion; city streets with lots of foot/bicycle traffic. I navigate slowly and cautiously, and will cheerfully stop to let folks cross if they beat me to a crosswalk I can slow down for. Even at a dead stop behind someone particularly inconsiderate, I don’t feel much in the way of irritation.

At speed, I tend to frighten my girlfriend. I brake too suddenly, too firmly- I cut through the center line if the road winds and there’s no oncoming traffic. I roll stop signs with no obvious reasons not to. Mostly I drive a bit on the slow side, but occasionally- when I feel like it- I’ll speed 10-15 over the limit. I also don’t pay too much attention to the road, and just let my instincts do the work. I’ve never been the cause of an accident, aside from a parking lot fender bender in the rain (which, in my defense, was partially the fault of the old lady who saw it coming- who I was distracted by at the time. She was shaking her head as if to say NO! STOP! but she made no effort to direct it at me, so while I was drifting backwards in puzzlement at what could be happening out there that she was reacting to- in the near blinding rain no less- I backed into the side of a car that was passing behind me).

There are a couple particular stretches in my daily commute that I believe are worth noting. Both are areas where two lanes merge into one shortly after a series of stop lights generates sizable backup. Although I am not typically an aggressive driver, I can never bring myself to just get in line. Even though I know I’ll have to fight to merge, the fact that I will gain up to 30 car lengths and maybe make a few lights I otherwise wouldn’t, always compels me into the short “panic” lane. There are two of these, and both stress me out (mildly), but it’s a stress I can live with easier than waiting in line to avoid it.

Again I state- I am NOT an aggressive driver. For the most part. I have, however, been flipped off a few times for what might be considered aggressive and dickish behavior. The other day I faced yet another battle to merge out of the panic lane, and passed an out of state convertible to my left with a decent sized gap to squeeze into in front of them. My lane was about to expire, so I signaled that I would be merging, and the convertible attempted to close the gap and shut me out. I forced my way in anyway, cutting them off rather sharply. They were displeased. I was more or less satisfied, and elected to blame them for trying to compete (and lose) in the first place, because that is a game I don’t play in traffic. For the most part.

If someone needs to merge, I let them in. If it’s not my turn to go, but someone waves me through anyway, I just go, and wave a “thanks” in return. I always give my fellow drivers the benefit of the doubt and shout encouragement (that they won’t hear) when they are doing something ignorant (you got this, baby, you can do it! That. A. GIRRRRRRRRL, look at you GO!) On one occasion I ended up stuck behind someone at a bridge toll who got into the automated pass line by mistake, with no automated pass, and had traffic completely stopped- waiting for some kind of bailout from above. That bailout was me. I got out of my car, ran over to the scanner, and donated 4 dollars off my card to scan them through. Merry Christmas. Other drivers behind me shouted some thank you’s, but for the most part an extra 4 dollars seemed like a fair price to pay to get moving again.

I do have a few rules for how I negotiate with other motorists. The first is zero forgiveness on someone I might want to pass when I get the opportunity. Too often I’ve been swindled by the false promise of “maybe they will go faster now,” after the car I had been following and wanting to pass suddenly starts moving at my desired speed in an area where I have an opportunity to do so. Without fail, once the opportunity to pass them has expired, they WILL revert to their old ways, and too often I am left kicking myself for failing to seize the day when the day presented itself. Now, I don’t care if they try speeding up to 90 (it’s happened), I pass someone who fucks up just once and only once, at the first opportunity I get.

So what can I speculate this tells me about myself?

I believe it tells me that I have a penchant for following the rules- so long as they are my own and not someone else’s- though there can be plenty of overlap. It tells me that I am more patient and conscientious when other people are involved, but less so when it’s just myself. It tells me that I look for the good in folks, and typically er in giving them the benefit of the doubt. I am not, however, a doormat- and am unafraid of risks and confrontation for the sake of efficiency and productivity.

That’s what I’d like to think, though I doubt I can escape bias and find much objectivity where self perception is concerned. Worth meditating on, at least.

Last updated July 07, 2020