Let god and let God in Current Events

My anxiety woke me up. I spent the day yesterday offline and disconnected from myself completely. How? Easy! I played Skyrim the entire day. I suppose that time & space brought my real feelings out at four this morning. I feel vulnerable and raw. This could be a good thing seeing how I built my life and day around avoiding having to feel. So how do I feel then? Well, that’s tomplicated. I don’t even know but I’ll try and explore that right now. I haven’t been eating food that gives me health so my body feels gross. It aches. I haven’t been connected to content that gives me health so I feel worried. I haven’t been surrounding myself with people who give me health so I feel lonely. I haven’t been thinking thoughts that give me health so I feel anxious. I haven’t been doing things that give me health so I feel stuck. This is my karma.

I could get whiney here. Truth is, my life is being created by all of the choices I do and do not make. I am responsible. That is the real meaning of karma. That life is what you make it I mean. Responsibility just simply means that one has the ability to respond. Passing the buck, the blame game, that is the recipe for misery. I think that is my humbling epiphany for the day. I don’t get to keep playing the victim. I suppose that I should only do things that give me health today. I can just decide differently and manifest a whole new life for myself. I have to reconnect to source, to god, and just trust the process.

Last updated July 07, 2020