How life has changed in Going public

I think I’d write here a lot more if I felt comfortable opening this site on my work computer. I know that the corporate overlords are either watching, or have the ability to watch. So - here I am on my personal laptop.

My apartment is ridiculously expensive and yet one of the cheaper ones in my building, so I have a courtyard ‘view’.. thus I get to enjoy all different kinds of unsolicited interactions with my fellow apartment dwellers. I just looked out my window and a little boy with no pants on ran out onto his balcony and shut the door behind him. NOT WHAT I WANTED TO SEE!

Pre-quarantine life seems more and more distant. The thought of going to the office is really weird to me now. Getting in my car, driving to the office, searching for a parking spot, opening doors with my badge, trudging up the stairs to my floor or riding the elevator if I’m lazy, getting coffee in the kitchen while trying to avoid awkward interactions, deciding whether to put my desk in sit or stand mode, working and catching up on email while I sip coffee, summoning my friends for lunch, deciding whether there’s anything good or if it’s a salad day, paying for my food and hoping the cashier is friendly, choosing a carbonated drink from the fridge (usually coke zero or sparkling water), looking for a table and hoping that our favorite one is open, laughing throughout lunch with spirits lifted, then walking back to our building, doing some work, then meeting up with my friends again to search the various floors for which admin has the best snacks available, laughing some more, going back to my desk and working, keeping an eye on the time so I can leave in time to get to cycle class or personal training or perhaps a date, or staying later if I have nowhere to be and am on a roll, then finally leaving and walking through a much quieter building, trudging up the stairs of the parking garage hoping I didn’t forget where I parked (I often do), driving toward home and probably getting a little nauseous from the stop-and-go traffic, then proceeding with whatever activities my night has in store for me.

Now my life is.. wake up, feed the foster kittens their wet food, hopefully make coffee and prepare a light breakfast before my morning meeting, at some point decide to change into (almost always) workout clothes, put my hair in some dumb looking ponytail or bun, maybe go for a walk at some point, do work, figure out some kind of mid-day food, think about what kind of workout I want to do, read the internet, watch some Twitch, do work, chat with my friends, maybe have a snack, do the workout I planned or take a walk (or both), shower, eat dinner, TV / video games / read, feed the kittens again, brush my teeth, wash my face, and prepare ice water to have on my nightstand, sleep around 2 am.

Before.. I did things. Now I kind of just putz around? Honestly I’m kind of glad I live alone during this, I can’t imagine how annoying it would be to be on top of someone this entire time.

My state has opened up a bit but cases are rising again, and are now predominantly affecting a much lower age group (mine). I look at my county’s dashboard every day, and we’re back to where we were in mid-April (our peak was late March). The only thing that has improved are hospitalizations and deaths, likely because the infected are so much younger. The selfishness and carelessness makes me angry every day. I go for walks and most people aren’t wearing masks. It’s barely even relaxing to go out when you have to weave and dodge to avoid every other human.

I have started to meet up with a few girlfriends for outdoor walks or bike rides. I have pretty minimal interest in eating at restaurants. I’m getting most of my groceries from Amazon Fresh. I had an appointment scheduled with my hair stylist, but then she went on family leave and it was cancelled. I ended up using box hair dye and it didn’t turn out great, so I bought another one and I’m hoping to figure out how to not fry my hair. I go to physical therapy every couple weeks but the two I liked aren’t available anymore and I don’t care for the woman I see now, and I’m thinking of quitting. I have video psychotherapy every week which is good but it’s harder to be vulnerable during it and there are more distractions (pets, video/audio issues). I’m baking a bit, but I overeat what I make and I only have one or two people I can bring the leftovers to. On weekends I sleep until 1 or 2 pm to make up for all the sleep I’m not getting during the week.

This is my last year of my 20’s.. I turn 30 in September which makes this all the more depressing because do you see how L A M E my life has become?