Burnout in Current Events

I’m starting to feel the BLM burnout. I almost went on a moral ultimatum on Facebook yesterday calling out all the virtue signallers because I saw the picture of the three-year-old that was shot over fathers day weekend. I am not out of touch with reality, I know racism exists. It is always going to exist. It will always be a reality for me and I just don’t agree to believe that every single white person is an evil racist. I don’t agree to believe that systemic racism is plaguing minorities in Canada and America. However, I don’t get to just look away and pretend that this BLM isn’t going to affect me in some way. I just want this insanity to stop. The world is safest when America is strong and free. The whole world is going to be at war with China soon enough and my stupid Prime Minister is out here trying to Make China Great Again. I’m stressed, pressed and can’t rest.

I spoke with Ange yesterday. She had a sad story to tell me. She went and visited a friend that is on his deathbed. Social distancing rules still apply so even though his wife and mother are there they can’t hold and hug each other.

Yesterday while matt was mowing the lawn he spotted a baby bunny. Later on he spotted another one too late. Well, two of them. There is a lilac bush in our front yard and we discovered that a family of rabbits live in it. I don’t know what compelled me to go look at the carnage but one of the ones he ran over survived. I was stressing out about that all day. I had a responsibility, an ability to respond and I couldn’t just not care. I kept bringing it food hoping its mother would return as it ran away when he turned the lawnmower on. I wanted to clean off its wounds. The mother rabbit finally came back and cleaned him up. They were all hopping around together by the end of the day. None of them were afraid of me. Not the babies or the mother. I also had other weird run-ins with wildlife. A bird came and landed beside me and just sat there for a minute or two. On one of my walks, a deer walked right past me without flinching. Then I saw a fox that casually crossed my path.

My left arm is wrecked. Just fucking wrecked son. I went ham on a bicep workout the other day and now I can’t even straighten my arm. I keep trying to rub out the pain and inflammation but it isn’t working. It hurts so good though. I love hurting sore muscles. This one is clearly an injury of some sort. After my whining in my last entry I did manage to force myself to get some cardio in. I just danced and did a proper ab workout. I need to up my ab game I am not doing it well enough. I’m three pounds away from my goal weight. This time I won’t have a belly. Anyway, I have the house to myself today again so I’m going to go enjoy being alone in the world. I am going to try and bake a cake.