Humbling in Current Events

I’m going to be tossing and tortured ‘til dawn if I don’t write this down and air this out. I was watching Ben Shapiro struggle with the US Supreme Court’s decision to extend protection to LGBTetc from employment discrimination based on gender and sexual orientation. Something along those lines anyway. I’m feeling some type of way about it. About his reaction, I should say. He wasn’t exactly egregious it was more like him processing what doors had just opened up to LGBT and how the only defence people with belief structures like his would have is their right to religious freedom or whatever. This decision was more about including transgender as a gender identity. I think? It’s late, I’m tired. If anybody knows Ben Shapiro they know where he stands on gender identity. I suppose we could say that the US caught up to the UK and to my country, Canada, regarding this. It does create some interesting issues nobody is allowed to talk about but Ben appears to be more upset that a business can’t ban cross-dressing and things like that. His words, not mine. I think that this Supreme Court decision was in response to the changes that the Trump administration made to Obamacare which would no longer provide coverage for things like gender reassignment surgery. I’m too tired to research and I just want to react right now and make everything about me.

I mentioned in a previous entry about why I consider myself politically homeless. I stay away from dogmas so I struggle to fully embrace the conservative “identity”. Whatever that even is anymore. Candace Owens is a rockstar to me but she seems to think that anything that isn’t a popular opinion is automatically conservative. I would be a little too progressive for her liking but we both believe in our right to be allowed to disagree with each other. Also, we do have the right to make decisions based on our religious beliefs here in the west and I suppose that is why Islam is such a sensitive subject here but I digress. My disconnect here, after watching Ben die on the inside, is this: That it is okay for a grown man to believe in a magic spirit in the sky and wear a piece of fabric on his head to express that but it is not okay for a person to believe in more than one gender? So the big question here is how the hell did I manage to be both anti-semitic and transphobic in one sentence?

To a lot of people that are a part of these book clubs, religions, I am an abomination for being gay and people with gender dysphoria are an abomination for getting treatment. The “intellectual dark web” of individuals that I subscribe to are not evil people. Ben Shapiro, I’m sorry but I did not lose respect for him or anything like that over his disappointment here. A lot of these individuals that I now admire gave up trying to be sensitive and compassionate a long time ago. I don’t know if that is a good thing or a bad thing not that I believe in being a good person. I believe in being a whole person which means that I don’t have to shame myself whenever I act like a selfish bitch. I’m not out of control, anymore, it is just useful sometimes. My bad qualities all come with some gifts.

I think what is making me feel some type of way is that it sunk in what I am to people. An abomination. I didn’t choose my sexuality and a person doesn’t choose to have gender dysphoria. Not that Ben is trying to cure us or anything. He just doesn’t agree to believe that we are the same thing and that doesn’t bother me. Blaire White knows that she has a mental illness, gender dysphoria and feels that she was born to be a trans woman and not a biological one. I sound very negative toward religions (and trans) in this entry and it’s not personal. It’s just my relationship with them, religions. Spirituality plays a huge role in the human experience. We are all looking for “God” whether we know it or not and I just… realized that this is me having a humbling experience… remembering that I am part of a minority group(s) that need to ask for permission to “belong” and/or whatever. It’s late I’m tired. I hope that I can sleep now that I hate speeched. I’ll process more tomorrow as there seems to be nothing but time during quarantine.

Ok, I’m back, I’m not done. In my mind, Ben would be responding to my statement about his religion and religious freedom being backed by the Constitution and that gender is backed by science and biology or whatever. Then he would say it very fast and pointed that marriage was designed for one man and one woman to have babies etc. According to the religions that are compatible with western culture that is. In the culture of my people, First Nations, we believed that LGBT people were two-spirited and they were allowed to assume other gender roles which included same-sex unions so does that freedom of religion not count? Ok, I know it doesn’t. I don’t know law, especially at 2 am. To be fair, my people here, before Columbus, were also sacrificing children and cannibalizing each other. Which reminds of a recent Alexis Mateo moment from Drag Race. That bitch is into eating people and she’s that skinny?! Ok, enough hate talk. I’m gone to ground now.

Last updated June 21, 2020