Track in Current Events

I’m reporting live from my basement in quarantine. It is Saturday, June 20 and the weather outside is glorious. It’s another fine day to be unproductive. I don’t know what to do with my day. Matt is home, I think it is fathers day this weekend? The anniversary of my father’s death is next week and so father’s day was never really something of value to me. I’m making that sound like I am feeling sorry for myself. I’m not. He died when I was eight. He was drunk and then got on a motorcycle and then got himself caught up in a speed chase and if that happened today the cops would have been blamed. Is there systemic racism in Canada? We have a weird system of rights. We have individual rights and then collective rights which created different kinds of Canadians. It keeps status Indians separated which is something I did feel most of my life. It also creates an elite of bilingual speaking Canadians as it is a requirement to be bilingual to be in politics. Even though it is only 11% of Canadians that use French on a day to day basis. French Canadians are overrepresented. The province of Quebec has a ban on hijabs and turbans. Quebec does not want to lose its identity which makes it exclusive so there is probably a lot of racism over there. I don’t know how I managed to talk about my father’s death and then trash Quebec all in one paragraph? My country of Chinada does have a history of racism but history is his story and not mine. I don’t think my Prime Minister needed to call Canada racist. He did blackface so he should only speak for himself lol.

I’m just writing because it is a habit at this point. I need to restructure my habits. I’m too attached and it is all designed to keep me radically distracted so that I don’t have to focus on my true goals. I need to train my attention span.

I suppose I will continue studying the dense series about the war on sensemaking. Then I will try to find a way to keep promises that I make to myself so that I don’t have to be afraid of pursuing my goals. I have made so many little choices that have taken me so far off track.