My husband has Super Powers in Tea at the Cabin in the Woods

It was later than usual when I switched the light off, turned to face him and lifted the blanket ever so slightly, when I was hit full on with vapors that brought tears to my eyes. Immediately I rolled away and covered my face in my pillow as he began to fan the blankets violently, gasping for air. It occurred to me this was a special talent of his which is getting stronger as he ages. I suggested he may want to harness it and use it for good instead of bad or just wasting it on me. Anyone who can clear a room in seconds simply by releasing gas has a super power indeed. We lay in bed laughing as I tried to come up with an appropriate name for him. The Skunk, Vapor, The Butt Puncher (that was his idea), Gasman... With watering eyes and his belly jiggling we decided on Gas Man! Today I want to steal some time and design a costume for him. This will be a silly joke for awhile but it has so much truth in it.

So why are farts so funny? Why is it funny for a man and unseemly for a woman? When I was ill this winter I coughed so hard that it pushed gas out from the pressure. We called these incidents "Carfs" as they happened. Usually, as a middle aged woman, I try to not release gas until I am in the privacy of my bathroom. Unfortunately, as women reach middle age, they have more incidents of gas removal than in prior years. So, on occasion, while walking or bending to pick something up, a small "toot" may slip out completely unexpected. Of course when that happens, I look around and make a face toward someone else. God forbid I be the one who "Toots" in public.

There are times when Hubby and I are shopping and it is important I an not behind him. More than once has the silent but deadly ones cleared out an aisle and I do not want to be in it's path. The worst ones are when we travel and he has "trouble" on the plane... I feel so sorry for the people in the seats behind us.... Once we took a Pilates class and he was the only man in the class. A larger woman, a few years older than me, was having difficulty with some of the positions and every-time there was a stomach crunch or a need to pull her knees up - she let it rip. And every-time she did that, the entire class looked toward Hubby. Needless to say, he quit the class only after a couple.

It is still funny and I suppose someone in my academic status should not be so immature to laugh at this juvenile behavior , but just because I have a doctorate does not mean I have grown up.

Now to think about what the Gas Man suit should look like. I am open to suggestions.