So behind in Ponderings of the Universe

I’ve been too burnt out to write or comment lately. There’s just been too much going on and the idea of writing about it is overwhelming.

Hold onto your butts! We’re going for a ride!

On April 30th my grandma died from COVID-19. She had been doing well with her infection, but all of a sudden she went into a coma-like state and died within 24 hours. For her sake, I’m glad it was fast and she was never in any obvious discomfort while she was conscious. It sucked that we couldn’t be with her, though. That being said, we at least don’t have a last memory of her in that state so…I don’t know. She was 97 years old and lived a wonderful life. Her funeral/burial was perfect. My mom has been worried about having to do a funeral for her for years. We aren’t funeral people, we don’t like to mourn publicly and have to put on a brave face and talk to others while mourning. So, having my grandma die during COVID was a weird kind of blessing.

Two days later, we put Gracie to sleep. She had been declining and I’m fairly certain she went into congestive heart failure. She had never been a dog we could give any medications to-she would always get horribly sick to her stomach, so we wouldn’t have been able to treat anything without causing more misery. She was 15. We came home from a walk that day and she was breathing so fast. I listened to her heart and her heart murmur had gotten to maximum intensity. To the end, she was still so feisty. She bitched at the boy dogs and passed out from lack of oxygen and then recovered. It was awful. I knew we needed to euthanize her but I needed to get my mom there. She had just lost her mom 2 days before and Gracie was primarily her dog. It felt so cruel to be helping my mom get to that decision. This is also my first pet death since becoming a veterinarian so it was unpleasant having to be the pet owner AND the guiding force in this. Thankfully my wonderful friend and coworker Baby Doc was kind enough to come to our house and perform the euthanasia. It went very smoothly and I can’t repay that debt to her. I’m also thankful I got one last head sniff from Gracie.

Ugh, there’s so much more to write about, but I’m emotionally spent now. I’ll try to be good and come back again soon to continue the update. I’ve been reading, just terrible at noting lately.