I don't get it. in After OD

I just don't know who I am right now. I'm constantly moody. Everyone makes me angry, even the people that I love. I feel like everyone is hiding their true opinions of me. Like there's this big secret that I don't know about myself but everyone does, and if I find out I'll just shatter into a million pieces. I'm just hurting. There's no other way to say it. I know I'm blessed with everything that I have, but at the same time I feel like my life lacks so much. I'm just a big fat disappointment. Literally. I can't even get the weight loss surgery I was so desperately wanting because there's an exclusion in my insurance policy. I'm sad and miserable. Woe is me