Coming out of the fog in Musings and Daily Events

It’s been an emotional time.

Coming to terms with a lot of different things surrounding my adoption.

Some days I’m fine, others I’m totally devastated. Some I’m just numb. And a few times, I just feel this absolute rage inside me.

Is this was the stages of grief are like?

So many lies were told. My adoptive parents spent a ridiculous amount of money to adopt me. My birthmother was told I was going into a rich, diplomatic family and will want for nothing, compared to living with her, who had nothing. My birthfather was told I had died of meningitis.

Was I, am I, worth all of this heartache?

I don’t think I am. My parents are angry and feel betrayed by the daughter they went through so much to get. My birthmother and I never met and don’t talk much. My birthfather seems to have forgotten about me…So why am I even here?

Right now, I feel like disappearing. Moving to a remote location in the mountains.