ugh... in A new start

I don’t really know why I am writing this, maybe for future records. So if something like this happens again I will know what to do.

I am writing about this past week, though it may be difficult. Last weekend everything seemed normal enough. We went and helped my friend on Saturday and Sunday. I didn’t want to go Sunday, but did. We were set to go on Monday also but my husband got sick. Everyone seemed fine, as far as dogs go. The kitten was out in the hall and they were at the gate watching her. I was in the kitchen making breakfast, brown rice with apple, yogurt, and walnuts. This was probably 9:30 or 10. Shortly after I took the dogs out potty and noticed Carmel was acting funny. Before I knew it she was walking backwards and it felt like she was so tense. Soon after she couldn’t walk. She barely had the strength to move her front legs. We started helping her by putting the ace bandage around her waist to carry her butt and she moved a little. I looked to see if the vet was open but it was a holiday so no. This was all within three hours. We set up camp for a “sleep over” in the living room with my youngest and I and the dogs. I had horrible sleep. Carmel ended up sleeping with my husband. I was awake early in the morning and made sure to call the vet as soon as I knew they were open. I was on hold for 40 minutes but got an appointment for the next day. Not as soon as I would have liked but whatever. So my oldest and I go to the store and come back and Carmel has had a bowel movement and has dragged herself into the kitchen with the others. Both things were good signs. We tried to keep her comfortable all day and had another horrible night of sleep. Got her to her appointment and the vet diagnosed her with a herniated disc and a uti. She got meds and was to have acupuncture. I should have started the meds as soon as we got home but didn’t just in case they gave her a shot. Maybe that was where I went wrong. I didn’t schedule the acupuncture right away either. The next day she was more miserable. I ended up giving her some cbd, maybe it was too much (but I’ve given her more before), to help her. I got her acupuncture appointment scheduled. I took her in and the dr did her thing. She told me she put a lot of needles in her back. I thought I could see a slight improvement, she wasn’t laying on her side as much more on her stomach, centered. During the night she would make a noise like she was chewing her tongue or choking or something. I used ice packs to keep her cool (I had read that a cool cloth to paws would help if they were to have seizures, which I don’t think she had but something was off) and that seemed to help a little. I got her to take her medicine in the morning but she wasn’t eating. Truthfully she had stopped eating Wednesday, she stopped drinking shortly thereafter also. This was Friday, she needed to eat. She needed to get better. She needed to get stronger. I took her outside to try to get her to eat and to potty her shortly after my husband left for work. I thought she actually got some down. I brought her in the house and noticed it didn’t look like she was breathing, she felt cold. I called my mom and she was on her way over. I should have left then but I didn’t. I called the vet and had them on bluetooth all the way in, the whole like 5 minutes. They answer as I am parking and I tell them shes taken a turn and isn’t going to make it. A tech comes out and grabs her and yells as she runs in to get the oxygen going, she wasn’t breathing. Within minutes another tech comes out for a history and then they tell me I can come in. I was met with a “we tried everything we could. We tried cpr, her heart stopped.” She was gone. They brought her out to me and I held her, wrapped up in a blanket like a baby and cried. I didn’t want her to go.

The dr was talking to me about it all and told me that she noticed at the acupuncture appointment that she had all ready regressed from the day before. She wasn’t responding to stimulous anymore (toe pinch or along the back). Her anus wasn’t closed all the way, which I noticed also when I tried to potty her. I looks like it was just that bad. They offered to do a necropsy and see if they can figure anything out. I am anxious to hear the results. I worry there was something I did wrong or worse that she was gone sooner and I kept her alive for selfish reasons. I could have gotten her into the vet sooner. But then again would it have helped? If I would have rushed her to an emergency vet on Monday would it have saved her? Could I have kept her more comfortable? I will find out more when I do.

That was all really hard for me. The unknowns. Even worse she is the first pet I have lost in a long time, ummm… I was probably ten or twelve the last time I had a pet die, so twenty some odd years. I have lost others but they didn’t die just got rehomed. And this household had lost pets but not mine. She was one of my puppies. I cried more for her that I did my grandma or my cousin. Granted they both died of cancer and it took a little time. She was gone within 5 days. I’m going to miss her playing with her food and her cuddles. I mean I still get cuddles but not from her.

Oh even better this week would have been the week we moved if the sell wouldn’t have fallen through. This house would have closed on the 10th. But no things fell through. Was going to take the house off the market but decided not to. Was going to take it down and trade in my car. But nope. I’m still going to trade in my car though.

Sounds like I need to go clean up the kitchen. The cat just made a loud crash boom bang.