It's Like Déja Vu in meh...

The scenario is that I find myself in my kitchen talking to myself and fussing about my neighbor and his music. It’s always on a Saturday around dinner time or this time of night and I’m angry.

We are on hour 4 of his music. He wasn’t cleaning this entire time. I’m sick of this. My landpeople do nothing. I’m always looking at houses but how am I going to purchase a house with no money? I’ve got to come up with 20%, I’ve got to get my credit right. The only thing that is suspect right now is my credit card debt.

There is a house that keeps getting put back on the market and I want to know why. Maybe it’s the area, but it’s not far from where I am now. I want to stay in the city. I want to stay south, but the houses I really want I cannot afford. I don’t want to buy someone else’s problems. You want my money, fix this. I want to make sure I stay on a bus route for my son’s sake. I’m not asking for too much.

People are inconsiderate across the board. I kind of hate driving right now because of it. I’m easily triggered. Like, I get instantly angry as soon as I hear a rumble of bassline coming from the wall or my floor and when I’m driving. When I drive, I have this disgusted, I hate everyone look on my face. I roll my eyes a lot and as soon as someone does something stupid, I immediately go off. Inconsideration is my trigger and I don’t like people very much right now.

I was looking forward to getting out briefly to take my son and grandson to get haircuts at my sister’s house. She cancelled. I don’t want to drive and put miles on the car just because I’m driving around to get away. It’s bugs outside. I LIKE BEING AT HOME BUT THIS MFR IS GOING TO DRIVE ME TO HURTING HIM!

I can’t handle all the competing noises because I like my quiet. I don’t want to be forced to listen to music if I’m watching a movie or I just need quiet which I’m ALWAYS quiet.

Regular life noises are nothing. This isn’t that. I want to take a risk and go to jail for beating his ass, but that’s not the life I’m trying to live right now.

So here we are. 8:25. In the middle of hour 4. My family needs to eat. I’m so pissed I’m not hungry and that ain’t ever my life. Lol

Let me get off here.