Breaking Point in Current Events

Yesterday I signed an online petition to help get Rebel News access to our Prime Minister to ask him real questions. They’re literally getting escorted out of open press conferences for no reason. They are suing his privy council office for a second time for censorship. They won the last lawsuit but this time Trudeau hired three lawyers. Conservatives are trying to expose him for being a puppet to China. I can barely wrap my head around what is going on here.
https://www.rebelnews.com/tags/let_us_report

I am hitting my breaking point with this C19 business. This pandemic? scamdemic? plandemic? What’s even going on? My takeaway is that all of our liberties can be stripped away in the name of safety at the drop of a hat so I can understand the protests but I can also understand the public safety. Not having control over our life is basically the millennial wound and this just made that worse. I keep dreaming that I am back to work at that craft store. Our location didn’t actually even open because of all this. I made relationships there and I miss some of those coworkers. I just took my second CERB but it’s going to be the last one I can qualify for. I can make this stretch for several months. Do I want to do essential work right now before it is safe? It’s going to be even more competitive than before. If I didn’t live with children. Maybe I’ll just go for it. There aren’t any new cases in my province. Quebec just took the lead in new cases. Ontario is still going strong though. Thank god Hetal is stuck in India. She’s safer where she is. I don’t quite think that there have been any protests in my province, we’re doing pretty good for social distancing. We’re not a big city though. The world is never going to be the same after this. I don’t think that it should. There is a higher path being offered here. I don’t know what that path is but this is our time to change what wasn’t working.

My anxiety is acting up just talking about this. It’s making my heart hurt. I can’t imagine what the rest of the world is going through. Jenson is in London and has been in his apartment for months and will be for even longer than that. Just now I returned from a tiny anxiety attack. I had a plan man. I was getting my shit together and then this shit show happened. I’ve fallen for that trap of others have it worse than me and that isn’t allowing me to feel sorry for myself. To grieve my small losses here. I am so damn grateful that everybody I care about is safe and healthy. I need to integrate my shadows. I carried being a victim for so long and I’m so close to breaking completely free that and I can almost taste that freedom. That full self-empowerment.

Anyway, it`s another fine day in quarantine. My body is not happy with my dietary choices lately so I’m definitely paying for that now. I have a few recipes that I want to try. One is a vegan Turkish pizza that has dried rose petals in the sauce and a yogurt dip. That’s going to be interesting. I’m trying to find things that I can be excited about and if food won’t do it I don’t know what will. My mother wants me to go dye her hair but I am afraid of getting her sick. I would say that I’m social distancing but I did visit Bev the other weekend. Restrictions were loosened up. Other than the grocery store I haven’t been anywhere else since then. Her immune system is compromised so I think I might cancel. She will totally talk me into it. She and her partner are both working so they’re already in harm’s way. Blah. I need to go for a walk. I’m in fight or flight so I got to walk it off.