Rundown of the week in 2014

Monday I played Pathfinder with Tris, Levi, and Matt. It was frustrating because Matt meta games far too much for our comfort, but Levi (the DM) won't call him out. So, Tris and I have to meta game, then we have to figure out how to reconcile what we know with our characters. Monday was also the first time in a while where I got really angry over something incredibly stupid. In Pathfinder, I've had one good die roll in two weeks. And that was on something I'd suggested as a joke. It bothered me that I was so bothered. For whatever reason, I couldn't sleep Monday night. I played a lot of Order of the Stick, and I'm not sure if I played because I couldn't sleep, I couldn't sleep because I played, or both. The air has been terrible all week, and everybody is having trouble sleeping these days. At any rate, I finally got to sleep between five and six, then Tris woke me up with a text around 8. Then, at around 10:30 the police banged on my door and demanded to be let in (apparently). I obliged. I found out later it's because I live across the street from the consulate, and they were checking it because Michelle Obama was visiting. Makes sense, but I couldn't get back to sleep.

Tuesday I ended up canceling classes because I felt so bad. I played Order of the Stick all day because if I didn't do that, I knew I'd nap and then I'd be in real trouble. I wanted to get on some kind of schedule. Anyway, I ended up sleeping poorly on Tuesday night anyway.

Wednesday I felt like crap, but I felt well enough to teach, so I went to the university and had a fun sociology class. Then I went to my other job only to find that I didn't need to go. I hadn't checked the schedule for that week, and my normal Wednesday class had been canceled. This was obviously annoying. Then, however, I had Jerry's class. I finally remembered to bring him blue cheese. He'd been begging me to bring it for weeks, but I kept forgetting. Well, he hated it (as I knew he would). However, class was really fun. His mother is going to set up a Skype account so I can still talk to him when I'm back in the USA.

Thursday Katherine canceled class, so I ended up going out with Penny to work on her son's application. That was fun. We had a good time at Kaffestugan, and it was nice to get in there. Usually I go on Tuesday, but I hadn't gone out on Tuesday.

Friday was busy. I had Katherine's class, then the big class at Shane. Katherine's class is half way between my apartment and Shane, so I never mind her moving classes to Fridays, but the trouble was, her apartment had no power, so we ended up having to go to a place at Kuanzai alley. It was surprisingly beautiful. It felt like something out of a movie. I was more ashamed than ever of my gut and sweat pants. Well, we had a good class (and delicious tea) and then I went off to Shane to teach. The class went well (Friday class always does) and I had fun. I didn't end up going to English Corner. Mr. Wang died four months ago, and the spirit is just gone from the place. Few of my old friends go anymore. It'll linger a few more months, I suspect, but it's not what it used to be. And without Mr. Wang, I doubt it ever will be again.

Saturday I had my ToBe class, which went pretty well. General TOEFL. The kids are doing well in my system and are actually attempting to do most of their homework, which is a welcome change from normal. Then it was off to Safari to help Penny and Woody on paperwork. I ended up drinking tons of Turkish coffee and smoking a shisha in addition to taking some motrin to try to control my splitting headache. Then, it was off to Kevin's class which I BS'd my way through. That's what he likes, though. That's what his parents pay for. I wish I got to teach him more, and better, but that's not how this job works. I got to bed relatively early (about 11:30) on Saturday night, but woke up sometime after two and didn't get to sleep again until sometime around five before I finally had to get up at eight. I couldn't sleep, so I did a lot of reading in the New Testament and in the joint biography of Jefferson and Hamilton that I've been reading. I find it odd that, when I was younger, Paul made sense to me and James seemed nuts, but now, it seems that I'm finding the opposite. I'm not sure how much is me, though, and how much is circumstance. I'm attempting to really educate myself on Christianity in a way I never did before. I suppose that a lot of things I used to take for granted, sin for instance, don't seem as self evident as they used to. However, I'm isolated and alone in China, cut off from a situation where I can really do a great deal, so, maybe it's just my situation influencing my philosophy. In Japan, I found more meaning in Christianity than I ever had before. Now I'm just increasingly confused by it. Makes me want to read the Talmud more and more. Maybe then I'll get Paul a little better.

That brings us up to today.

Got up and went to Starbucks for breakfast hoping to see manic pixie dream girl who works there. Not that it'd matter. Fat+sweatpants=doesn't deserve happiness. If I deserved happiness, I'd be more in control of myself and my life. Here's to hoping I'll fix a few things. Morning class went relatively well. No issues there. Penny (a new teacher from the UK, not my Chinese friend) was sent in to observe, but it was a lousy class to have her watch. She's going to be my replacement, and I appreciate that they want her to know the students and see my methods, but today was a test day, so we just did a vocab review and took a test. Then I had my lunch. Then I was surprised to find that my late afternoon class had been moved to just after lunch. I quickly rescheduled Katherine's Sunday lesson to 4:20 instead of 6:20 and taught it. The class has one student. A boy whose English name is Tom. He's the living embodiment of derp. He's even got the face. A lot of us are really concerned that he may have some kind of developmental problems, but, seeing as this is China, it's unlikely that he'll ever be diagnosed even if it is the case. Were he to be diagnosed, there's even less that people would be willing or likely to do. The class sucks the life out of you. Anyway, things went well with Katherine. I showed her my Ikebana paper and we analyzed it to help her work on structure. Then I gave a short lecture on American history. Then I went to Subway for dinner. On the way there, I pissed off Tris. He's got one name I'm not supposed to call him, and I don't, but I generally skirt around it. I'd thought that it was mostly in good fun, and perhaps it is most days. Not today. He hung up and when I apologized, he just said he'd see me tomorrow. I'm bothered by this, of course. I should have been more attentive. I take my jokes too far, and I know I do, but I miss cues. A lot of the time, I have no idea what cues I missed. This time, in retrospect, I can see that Tris probably had a long, stressful, and tiring day and was in no mood to put up with me. Then, I started analyzing why it was that I was pushing him today. It occurred to me that I was annoyed at how difficult he is to contact. I realize that a lot of it isn't his fault. He works odd times, and I've never asked for his schedule. In my defense, his schedule changes frequently and he doesn't know what it will be as often as not. I'm mostly annoyed that after his runs, he "passes out" and falls asleep right away even if we have specific things to discuss, which (in the case of last night) we did. He's always been hard to contact, and that's something that infuriates me about people. To his credit, he's gotten a lot better, but it's still something that really gets to me. Anyway, then I was bothered by the fact that I was being passive aggressive. I suppose that, I'm bothered by something Tris does, but he either cannot or WILL NOT change it. So I push his buttons because that way we're even. This is, of course, a horrible way to think and act and smacks FAR too much of my mother. So I need to stop. The trouble is, I want to tell this to Tris, but any further discussion is probably not to his liking. Making this worse, I've got to go play Pathfinder tomorrow with him (mad at me) and Matt (doesn't like Tris or me). And when I'd honestly rather be doing other things.

The week has not been good.