Reminds me of my First Time. in Life

I think this is probably the first time that I’m writing without a clear goal in mind on something I want to get off my mind so it may be a bit rambly and distracted.

I’ve been in more of a creative mood lately than a physical exercise mood so rather than push myself to continue with the physical I’m putting that on the back burner and embracing the creativity with the hopes/idea that there will be a shift in the future where I go back to skating and such. I’m very high focused on what I’m doing with my time right now and the worth of what I’m doing with my time.

I’ve been spending a lot more interactive time with Elly and trying to get her to learn her colours and some other words. It’s gotta be hard for her during this quarantine because she wants to play with kids but we have to physically pull her away from other kids and it’s heartbreaking to do that. Like I can’t possibly see how this will effect her future development! But also Pam and I aren’t heavy talkers. We’re pretty chill people so she doesn’t get the conversational input that she’s probably used to with daycare but still she’s got a big book of colours and I work with her on that hoping that she’ll pick that up. Lately Orange is her favourite (This is after Blue then Green) which means she’s stolen my orange pen that I use for note jotting whenever I have a creative idea lol. We’ve tried to sub in a carrot replacement.

With the weather getting hotter, Pam has adjusted her schedule to take Elly on walks in the morning and then she showers at lunch which kinda screws up my physical activity time so I’m trying to adjust around that. I used to work out in the morning and then shower at lunch so now I’m taking my showers in the evening which is whatever. It’s a nice little break away from the clock watching of the bedtime routine.

Pam’s pursuit of psychological attunement (it just sounded good) has come to a crashing hault as there’s a 3 month waiting list. However she did admit that had she looked into it sooner that she wouldn’t be in the position as bad as she is right now which is a huge freaking step for her to recognize that but it still sucks. Like to finally pull the trigger on a big step like that and being told by 2 Councillors at varying escalation levels that she needs more help so she must go higher and then she has to stop and wait like… Okay so maybe She can just talk to one of the previous 2 while she sits on this wait list? No? Great good job. Like both of them listened to the tip of the iceberg and said “You sound like an emergency case, let me escalate you” And now she’s back to square 1. Well, square 1.5 I guess. The System is Broken I Say!

Mood: Bored
Music: Letters To Palestine (album) (Very cool Piano music, I strongly suggest checking it out)