Positives and Negatives in Book Seven: Reconstruction 2020

The weather has been… interesting lately. Like… every day it looks like it is going to rain. Sunday, it looked very much like rain, so I didn’t take Nala for a walk. She hates the rain and if it rains while we’re walking it short circuits her brain! Monday, it also looked like it was going to rain… but 2 days without a walk in a row is really bad for Nala. So we took a decent walk… and it started to rain in the last ten minutes of the walk. Then Tuesday, I had to go into the office… and it also looked like it was going to rain. It didn’t but… the whole concept of describing this is.... do you have rheumatoid pain or things of that nature? Barometric pressures can do a real number on that. Shit, after getting back from the office- my legs were in so much pain, so sensitive, and so stiff… that getting out of my car gave me a 20 minute charlie horse! I was hurting! But… Nala still needs walkies. And FFS, Nancy isn’t doing anything anymore. She doesn’t have a job and her school semester is over. So the least she can do is walk the dog for me on the rare occasion where I specifically request assistance in that regard. So I called her to request this simple favor. If she loves the dog, as she claims, she’ll want the dog to receive proper exercise. Nancy and I talked and she said that she’d be able to walk the dog… but that she already had a date scheduled with a new guy so she’d have to work around that. So… Nancy is getting dates left and right (so far 3 to 5 guys) and I can’t even so much as get any interest brewing. And, sure. Seeing what the kind of girls I’m interested in, I need to start taking pictures of myself having fun, being with people, being in CosPlay, and… I need to start losing weight, building muscle, and getting cut. EXCEPT review all of those things! (1) taking pictures of myself having fun… while still in relative lock down. (2) taking pictures of myself being with people… when I can’t even visit my friends or family. (3) Being in CosPlay is a potential but I shut down all of my builds because I’m not going to shop online/get deliveries for that kind of stuff during a pandemic and I’m certainly not going to drive to where Fabric Stores and Material Stores are going to be to expose myself to a larger chance of viral impact. (4) And truthfully? I could and should start doing more for my physical health while in lockdown. But if my legs are in this much pain this week? I mean… that’s always the rub. Trying to figure out how to get the body I apparently need to have while dealing with the pain that likes to cripple me from time to time. So let’s add all of that to what I’m dealing with.

So Nancy came over and got the dog. I went downstairs to stretch my legs and play some video games. But part of the leg pain is this cruel cycle between pain and sleep. Sleep helps the pain, pain prevents sleep; the more tired I am, the more pain I have, the more pain I have, the harder it is to sleep. Until something breaks. Or gives… if you’d prefer that terminology. Which is what happened yesterday. I went downstairs to stretch my legs… I stretched, turned on the TV, turned on the Playstation 4… and then woke up 5 hours later. The dog sleeping next to me on the couch. I got up, went upstairs… noticed that Nancy had been kind enough to put my trash and recycling out as pick up is Wednesday mornings. I then went to bed.

I slept for another 5 hours. Was awake for 2. Then slept another 6 hours. Upon waking, my legs feel better but like… not good. So… they aren’t in debilitating excruciating pain but my right leg is still tighter than hell. And added bonus, my back and neck are joining the party. Current barometric pressure is 30.09 inHg and has been steady all week. So… high pressure… steady high pressure… it makes sense. My body is feeling the weight of it. But the added extra physical pain certainly doesn’t help with everything else going on.