Lunatic in Current Events

I spent most of my day outside yesterday. We finally had some warm weather in my city. I went on an adventure with my niece and nephew. The longest adventure ever according to my niece. We were just down the road where there is a tiny trail in the woods. Then I sat outside by myself in her toy castle and listened to Sadhguru’s audiobook Inner Engineering. I sat there for hours. I almost fell asleep. Finally got some heat up in this bitch. Then I took my niece around the block so she could play with her scooter. Then we ate our supper outside and had a picnic. It wasn’t a special day or anything but it felt special. I was finally in the moment instead of being in my head.

I kept waking up last night. Nothing felt right. Even right now everything feels wrong. I feel like I am being lied to. I don’t necessarily know what the truth is but I can usually feel when I am being lied to. I feel like I am being lied to for no reason. I feel betrayed and used and these feelings have no context. I don’t even want to get out of bed… but I can’t let my depression win. Ok, I probably will. Just for an hour or so to decompress.