Ange in Current Events

Yesterday I learned that my friend Ange suffered a pulmonary embolism last year. I thought she moved to the UK because I was unable to get a hold of her. That was her plan the last time we spoke. A pulmonary embolism is a blood clot in the lung. She’s only 34 man! They had to perform CPR on her four times which broke some of her ribs. Those broken ribs lacerated her liver and she wasn’t expected to even make it through the night. She did but the doctors failed to notice that her liver was still bleeding which became a giant hematoma that crushed several of her organs and one of her lungs completely. She was hospitalized for months. This all happened this time last year. I thought I had it bad losing my job and such this time last year. She kept to herself and her family as she was embarrassed about needing a walker to get around. She just recently fully recovered and can do leisurely walks around her block. I wasn’t going to push a social distance coffee date on her just as she recovered but I can’t wait to call her today. We only texted last night. I wish I was there for her. She mentioned that she did try and reach out to me but couldn’t find me on social media and thought I blocked her or something. Oh well, can’t undo that but I am so happy to have finally got a hold of her. She’s a fucking sweetheart who should be an international treasure and did not deserve this. She was working four part-time jobs while going to school to become an IT tech thingy and I guess she wore herself down? I don’t even want to speculate. I’m just proud that she continued to get her degree. Also, my selfish ass is excited to have a friend who understands computers. I got a bestie who is a pharmacist and one who is a lawyer and now once I surgically attach Ange to my hip I will have somebody who is an IT tech thingy, muahaha my collection is almost complete! She had just started a job at IT techy thingy when she got laid off because of COVID. She’s been staying with her sister, her sister’s husband and their two kids. We’re literally in the same boat.

I did manage to do a decent workout yesterday. Back day. I haven’t been pushing myself too hard because I watched a video that told the story of what happened to a young guy who did 5000 squats in twenty minutes and he died. So now I’m like… paranoid. Well, he was of African descent and was not aware that he had sickle cell trait which can be pretty stealthy. Long story short his crazy workout regiment affected his kidneys. There was a following cancer situation and he died from a blood clot in his heart and he was just a baby at 17. I’m bumming myself out here and it’s only 6 am. Ryan, who was like a big gay brother to me died at 33 from a heart attack. He had obesity though. He crosses my mind every day. 33 is way too young.

I’m not immune to anything but my plant-based diet protects me from obesity, heart disease, type 2 diabetes, arthritis, common various cancers and much more. Kind of the way not smoking protects you from lung cancer etc. It can still happen but your odds are drastically reduced. It’s the only diet used as a treatment in some countries. My bloodwork showed that my bad cholesterol dropped and my good cholesterol jumped so things are going in the right direction. I was watching a story about a girl who has orthorexia. It’s hard to diagnose that eating disorder because A) it’s not in the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) B) doctors don’t see the problem. It’s an obsession with eating foods that one considers healthy. That obsession becomes unmanageable. The girl who was telling her story said that she didn’t realize she had a problem until she got stuck trying to decide which package of beef to buy for 40 minutes. I don’t think that these fitness models on YouTube giving diet advice on how to get shredded even realize that they might have an eating disorder. Their content is generic, harmless stuff but when you watch their daily VLOGS and hear them talk about food it makes me wonder if they’re in control. I couldn’t sleep last night because I was fantasizing about my last cheat meal before I got on my cut diet. They literally talk about how they’re constantly thinking about their food. Counting macros and shit. Their physiques are 20% workouts and 80% diet and that’s 100% of their time so yeah. I can see how they can easily have an eating disorder. Vegan bodybuilders though… don’t have to quit carbs. Just saying lol. It only crossed my mind, orthorexia, because I think a lot of vegans become obsessed with their diets in the beginning. It’s fun and exciting and a lot of them end up doing it wrong. I’ve struggled with regular anorexia and I did fall into the hype of eating crazy healthy when I first went vegan but now I’m just like… all about vegan burgers and fries and gravy and just garbage like that lol.

So anyway! My mother is telling me to collect another CERB check but I am pretty set for a while because of the last one and from my tax refund. At this rate, if I keep collecting these the government will basically be paying off my car. I felt dirty taking the first check, should I be taking more than I need? I woke up this morning thinking about how many people must be bleeding through their savings and retirement right now. That was my 2019 in a nutshell. I have a book that I’m slowly going through about how to become an investor. It’s going to be my side hustle. I really suck with money. I wish I could just have a husband who is good with money that could just take care of the finances for me lol. I’ll take care of everything else. The dogs, the kids, the house, the meals, the PTA.

Anyway, it’s another fine day in quarantine. I should hit the books now. ta!