The Night Thoughts in Book Seven: Reconstruction 2020

Do you know what is keeping me up tonight?

Social things.

Social has gone online. Martha facetimed me, my parents call me, I play a FnD game online, but the majority of social is via things like Facebook, Prosebox, and other sources. And… increasingly, this is not the time for that shit

Facebook is turning in to a fetid cesspool even more than normal.
I legitimately feel that I need to censor myself on Prosebox as any thought or emotion I express her either starts an argument, elicits criticism, or brings somebody in who has nothing more to say/add then to belittle me for having those thoughts or emotions.
And the other places I try for any social connection, basic conversation, or discussion? Nothing. There is no interest there in me or having a conversation.

And all of the “Hang out in a coffee shop” suggestions are of course… canceled and impossible.

So… I am trying to come to terms with all of that. So few places to discuss my feelings and thoughts openly and honestly and so much desire to. And I’m not even that much of an asshole!