Question 1 and 2 in 100 questions about me

Describe one of your earliest childhood memories....

This one is hard for me. I have very very few memories to choose from. I would have to say that my earliest memory, although still quite vague is when I think I must have been between 8 and 10 years old. I remember writing my mother a note asking why I couldn’t get my armpits clean, and is it possible its armpit hair. I wrote her because she wasn’t easy to talk to. All my life I remember feeling criticized, mocked or less than. So to ask her about something that puts me in a vulnerable position was anxiety causing. My solution was to not be there when I asked. I would write her a note, leave it when I knew I would be gone and put on the bottom for her to write me back, not talk to me in person. To her credit, she did write me back. This became a popular way for me to asked her questions or tell her things that I thought could garner a reaction i didn’t want.

Write about what you see as one of your best qualities......

This one too is hard. I don’t see myself as having many redeemable qualities. The only one that comes to mind is patience. I am patient to a fault. I have been complimented on how patient I am with kids, or with difficult people. But secretly I wonder if I’m patient.....or a pushover. I was so patient with my abusive ( soon to be) ex husband that when we finally split it wasn’t even for me. I never left him for how he treated me, I left because i found out he was abusing one of my daughters. Had that not happened, had his only evil trait been abusing adult women....I think i may have never left......I fear I may have never left. I didn’t even realise how bad it was until the prosecutor told me he admitted to fantasizing about my death. I suppose it’s a redeeming quality when I use it for redeeming things like helping a struggling child when everyone else just wants to go.