Ranty ranty in Bittersweet

I wrote a huge rant about the corona virus and decided to make it public. The truth is, it would offend people and im just venting. So i removed it. Im sitting here on my computer watching my rainbow lights twinkle across my keyboard. The backlight is rainbow and its a running rainbow going round and round and round. There is something comforting about watching the colors go around. Phasing out and keeping my eyes unfocused. Helps me tune out the kids who are fighting again. I said they could have ice cream and it sparked a fight? Its always my 12 year old. Hes such a hard child… Now he took his phone upstairs and is ignoring me. Im tired of this. T went to work for a few hours. Night shift. Gotta keep the government websites up and running flawlessly yanno. So of course the kids start in....

I have a headache. And im stressed out. A lot went on this week. Ending with my mom loosing her job from the virus shitdown ( not a typo) and probably wont get it back. So she and my dad are in montana while hes working. Im here with my sister and all the kids and grandpa… Trying to convince her to pay some fecking bills.

My ranting privately helped…
Im afraid of getting this. Im afraid my kids will get this. Im afraid my family will get this. And im afraid we wont all survive....
But its ok to be afraid.
we either WILL or WONT get this.... no other option :) Probably will before its done. Hopefully not serious or fatal…
Ok time to mediate and then back to spinning :)