T Minus 3 Days to Surgery in Here Be Dust

At some point, all the stuff becomes a blur.

My consult on the 12th went very well. I had 21 questions for the surgeon. He could answer most of them; some have to wait for the oncologist, who won't be able to answer them until after the surgery. M waited in the waiting room -- this was after I had gone over my memo (see this entry) with the staff.

The very good news is that I am HER2-negative. Or, as the surgeon put it, "You've got the good cancer," plus my tumor is on the small side (1 cm.). Barring any surprises, my surgery will take a couple of hours on Tuesday, but will be surrounded by pre- and post-surgical stuff for what sounds like the rest of the day. In addition to removing the tumor, they'll do a sentinel node biopsy to see if anything's spread. I've reserved a cab for round-trip transportation; M will accompany me to and back from the hospital.

M wasn't happy that I didn't want her driving me, but I think she's gotten over it -- especially since she had overdone it on some yard work and was effectively knocked out for the rest of the day. I pointed out to her that I can't afford that happening if I am in a situation where I need her. I also warned her that if I'm convalescing, I can't drive her to the ER if she overreaches.

I attended my first breast cancer support group meeting on the 14th -- they meet monthly. Was immediately paired up with a Reach to Recovery volunteer and we hit it off. Reach to Recovery is a program of the American Cancer Society wherein cancer patients are paired with mentors who have had similar cancer experiences.

Flowers arrived from a longstanding client:

Through our local cancer center's Facebook page I learned of the Lilly drug company's "Oncology on Canvas" contest. I've registered and done up a submission, but they take all rights (including attribution!), so I'm still undecided as to whether to send anything in. The deadline isn't until June 30. On the other hand, they partner with the National Coalition for Cancer Survivorship, which does education and advocacy, plus the 2012 winners include some stunning work.

Last weekend I spent 3-1/2 hours weed-whacking the yard on Saturday, then 2 hours of yard work on Sunday. This is the time of year when everything starts growing like gangbusters, plus I've had to do a lot of trimming left over from last year. From what I've read, after breast cancer surgery the risk of lymphedema lasts for life, so I'm looking at the possibility that I might need to hire help for the yard rather than doing most of that work myself. It's also recommended that I cut my sun exposure due to the radiation treatments I'll receive. So I'm doing what I can, while I can.

I had planned to meet a couple of friends for lunch on Monday, but nasty thunderstorms rolled through and we decided not to risk it on the roads. (We all live some distance from each other, so we lunch at a roughly central location that's about 30 miles from me.) Was able to lunch with one of the two on Thursday, where she gave me this perfect mug:

After the storm on Monday I spent some time taking photos in the yard:

That second raindrop contains an upside-down reflection of my neighbor's house, better seen in the large view.

On Tuesday I met with the RN who had done my biopsy pre-op. In addition to sharing various life stories, our discussion centered around some alternative medicine therapies. I'll just say my reactions are mixed, and I've been doing some research on the products she's involved with.

On Wednesday M and I attended our weekly support group. I don't know when I'll be back there, especially with 5-6 weeks of M-F radiation treatments ahead of me, once I heal from the surgery.

Thursday was my lunch with K, which was awesome. It just feels so good to sit down with someone and have a regular conversation.

Friday was my pre-op, which was mainly paperwork and payment, followed by an ECG -- wow, those things are fast these days! I'm trying to get any post-surgical Rx filled before surgery or delivered to the hospital before I go home on Tuesday. After the pre-op, I stopped at the hospital cashier to check on a bill I received, which it turns out is already covered (yay!). Then made stops at the post office, bank, and supermarket. After some rest at home, I put in 2-1/2 hours of branch trimming, headlined by a showdown between Buddy Hollies and Cyndi Lopper. :-) Also granted permission (with delight) to an artist in Sweden, who is using this moth photo as a model for her drawing. She'll share the finished product with me. Friday night and Saturday I completed a short freelance job.

I need to make one more trip to the supermarket to stock up (and to use a coupon), plus pick up a special order at the natural foods store. Monday I'll check with the surgical office to see if they have an Rx ready for me to pick up and fill in advance. If they don't, I can tell them on the day of surgery to use the Walgreens bedside service. They have a system in place where Walgreens will deliver the Rx directly to the hospital, so that I can take it home with me.

In addition to the Rx, another question I'm glad I asked at pre-op was whether it was better to wear a shirt that buttoned down the front rather than a pullover. (Yep.) I'm to take the absolute minimum amount of stuff to surgery (I'll feel naked without my journal notebook and camera!), but I'm going to leave a packed bag at home in case something goes awry during outpatient surgery and I become an inpatient. That way, the bag can just be retrieved and brought to me.

I've decided to forego the home health care, mainly because my motivation for using it would be as a buffer during M's emotional flare-ups. The thing is, those are impossible to predict. And from the surgical consult plus conversation with Reach to Recovery volunteer N, my surgery should be pretty straightforward (barring any surprises). N had the same kind of surgery and was able to drive three days later; the surgeon predicts I should be able to drive 4 days afterward. Meanwhile, M and I have been working on communication, though admittedly some days are better than others.

M's brother-in-law is out of the hospital; fortunately he did not need surgery. M has spoken to her sister on the phone once. The sister had called -- M said she did not feel ready for the phone call but was glad for it. I told the sister that the main way the family can support me (since the sister had written to me that they have my back) is to call and communicate with M, either with just M or both of us on the phone. Just to listen to whatever she has to say.

My friend K has also offered support, including coming up here if I needed her -- about an 80-mile drive one-way. I said that once I'm up to snuff, it would help if I could call her on occasion and let M be on the phone. K was fine with that -- she knows the story with M, and her own mother has dementia.

My TMJ pain (which might not be TMJ so much as post-menopausal changes, from what I've read) has decreased considerably and is all but gone (whew!). I think my decrease in coffee consumption helped. Also, the better prepared I feel for surgery, the lower my stress level.

I won't know until Monday afternoon what time I need to show up at the hospital. As soon as I know, I'll call the cab company and tell them.

Another thing that's cropped up: I've got a horizontal dotted line in the lower part of my computer screen. That seems to mean that a connection is working its way loose. I keep my fingers crossed that I won't lose my screen before I've mended. Right now it's not really a bother -- I just don't want it to get any worse.