Hitting it hard in Riverdale

Hitting It hard

I drank way too much last night. I only drink a lot when in going through rough times and just feeling ugh.

I had a hangover from hell for a bit but now I am perfect again thank god!

I went to this donair place today. I had been yearning for a donair for a long time now. Last one I had was in Nova Scotia. They are a bit like shawarmas but better.

Anyways not too much going on. I last week I went on this date with this guy and I thought he was cool but ended up being a waste of time. I was putting in too much effort. Not because I am delusional but because of how good the date went and all the stupid shit he said about wanting to see me again and how he liked me. Turns out just lying. Oh well. I tell myself it's better to know now than later. He was a few years younger than me anyways. So he's probably just really immature and expects me to be like all the other girls his age. I thought he was different but nope same lying charmer.

It was weird today my aunt messaged me on Facebook saying she misses me. I haven't talked to her in about three years and now she misses me? Last time I talked to her she was pissed at me because I didn't go to my cousins communion because my dad was bringing this drugged out 22 year old to the thing. She obviously has too much blind loyalty to my father. I do miss my cousins. Especially one of them that reminds me of me as a child. I don't know what to say to her. I don't think I am going to respond yet or at all. I just don't want to deal with her questions about why I don't talk to my dad blah blah blah. I am kind of tempted because she was there for me a lot when I was a kid and all but there's just this harshness to her I can't stand. She's kind of unstable and I just don't want to put myself in a situation where she judges me which she does a lot. It's just too bad you can't choose your family.

Anyways I've made the decision really to just keep pushing forward with my life. Get my shit together and just really have faith that things will get better for me. I am not going to give up and really screw myself over because of the pain I feel.